Large Family Birthdays
I'm going to take a break from the scheduling posts for just a bit, but I promise I will get back to them soon!
We recently celebrated another birthday and it made me stop to ponder how very different birthdays look from when we first started celebrating birthdays around here.
I hesitated to call this post "Large Family Birthdays" because we stopped doing traditional birthday parties long before we had a large family. However, I have to admit, we adopted a "large family mentality" about the same time and I wonder if that partly helped to make our decision.
So, let me give you a taste of what birthdays USED TO look like:
A room full of people
Tons of children (not my own)
Gifts being discarded within seconds of being opened
Very few decent birthday pictures because of the chaos
Tons of money spent on birthday extras that were really just a way to "keep up with the Joneses"
Exhausted parents & cranky children
Now, I know some of you LOVE the birthday party atmosphere, but for our family, it just wasn't working. And as our family grew, all we could envision was more and more chaos on more and more days of the year.
So, we ditched it all.
The day of the child's birthday, they are exempt from school and chores. They choose what we eat and most of the activities we participate in that day. We open presents as a family and usually eat ice cream cake.
Someday during the birthday week, grandparents come for a visit with more cake and their presents. There is always a special cake made by Granny to the child's specifications. (The cake in the picture is my horse-loving daughter's special cake.) The grandparents get the joy of seeing the children open their gifts without the frenzy of a million children and a million gifts.
Ocassionally, there are special outings with one friend and one friend only. A few years ago we experimented with having 2 friends and it was not good. Someone was always left out.
We also do half-sleepovers where the one friend gets to stay at our house until midnight or 12:30. The kids LOVE this! We do not do full sleepovers at all.
The celebrations include the entire family which teaches humility and sharing for the birthday child and patience and servanthood for the other children. Everyone definitely knows who the birthday child is, but the birthday child is encouraged to be considerate of his or her siblings. Celebrations are calm, but fun. There are pictures galore and they are really, really good ones. Presents are kept under control, and I never feel the stress of needing to put on a gala affair.
And that, my friends, Works for Me! (to read all sorts of other tips and trick from other bloggers, click the link!)
Labels: Holidays, Large Family Living
posted by Nutmeg @ 10:00 PM
12 Comments
12 Comments:
Thanks for the post.
I have a question for you. I've had a birthday party inviting family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins) over for a traditional kids birthday - food, cake, gifts, games - for my first daughter's first and second birthday. I've since decided against the whole party idea.
I feel a need to "keep it fair" and do the same for my second daughter. What are your thoughts on "keeping it fair"?
That is exactly how we do our birthdays. our kids love it and they really don't ask about having a party. i think we stopped it when they were young enogh.
Wow, what a great way to celebrate. Only having two children and one on the way I already was struggling with the big birthday party thing because it is hard to manage now and I have dreams of having an even larger family. Thank you!
okay i love the cake! it's perfect for my daughter, so i might have to try and make one of those!
Some great ideas.. i know we struggle with parties, so this might help!
Naomi,
Our last big party was my 2nd child's 2nd birthday. We just downplayed the whole thing and acted as if this is the way it's always been. I don't remember the children even noticing. The adults were very understanding.
There are still pictures and there is still fun so I don't think they feel they are missing out. We've even attended some big parties for others and they all seem to be okay with not having something like that.
There is just absolutely no way to make everything fair for our children. And that's okay. :)
Amen Sister~
Great post!
That is much how we celebrate birthdays around here! One year when we still did the BIG birhtday thing....I did not make goodie bags (they cost a bundle to put together) and one child who was about 7yrs old said to me,
"what kind of party is this? No goodie bags? Thats lame!"
My son was so embarrassed....and not happy with me,after all I had already done!
My son wanted to keep up with the Jones or at least felt the presure too. Thats when Hubby and I decided to not give our children a large group style party! With 6 kiddos it was hard to keep up with large scale parties!
Starting mid May we have a birthday 3 birthdays in a row! One every 2 weeks for 6 weeks!
Its during baseball season,life here is busy!
Happy Birthday to your little one!
Tell granny she did a great job on the cake!
Grandparents are wonderful aren't they!
I wish my parents and in laws lived close!
Prayers and Blessings,
Georgiann
Yes, I think it is kind of crazy when people put on big theme parties and spend a bundle on parties and have to top them each year with something bigger and better.
Our son has a particularly tricky birthday--Christmas Eve! He just turned one this year and we did a grandparents-only celebration. He's a fortunate baby to have a set of great-grandparents too! As far as gifts go, we allow one "birthday" gift. We did celebrate his half-birthday in June with a more traditional party, but I'm still a big fan of limiting the celebration.
After my first child's 1st birthday, I did away with the "big party" fiasco...one time was one too many for me!
Birthdays can so easily become more about the day (and my expectations) and less about the child...so I like all your ideas!
I'll have to remember that "half-sleepover" idea...GENIOUS! :)
er...make that..."GENIUS"! lol!
We don't do big parties either. We have always done family celebrations. I let the child pick the kind of cake they would like and I make it for them. They also get to pick what we eat for dinner. Now that they're getting a little older(my oldest is 12), they are opting for doing an activity, like going horseback riding or ice-skating and that is part of their birthday gift.
We do similar things...we take them out to lunch...just the birthday kid and mom and dad...they pick what cereal for breakfast and what dinner...we have their party with just us...and I've recently begun making cakes. Mimi has a special desert for them too and we open presents from her over there.
They can pick a fun thing to do for their birthday and invite the cousins or a friend. Usually the cousins come!
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