Enjoying YOUR Quiverfull
Psalm 127:3-5
Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.
We are what some people call QUIVERFULL. The term is used to describe any family who leaves their childbearing completely in the Lord's hands. This means no birth control, no sterilization, and no Natural Family Planning; no prevention of any kind.
But, what about PROMOTION? Does God want us to try to conceive? And, let me take it one step further...does He want us to use interventive methods to cause us to conceive?
These are all questions that the Quiverfull-minded family has to consider because there may come a time when the babies don't just "automatically" come every year or so. You may find yourself overwhelmed by the Baby-A-Year Club, only to find yourself frustrated when you don't conceive within your "normal" time frame.
However, this is where the rubber meets the road in the quiverfull walk. If you believe the Lord controls when you conceive, then you HAVE to believe the converse: the Lord controls when you DON'T conceive. In fact, I would suggest that for the quiverfull woman, having a baby every year is not nearly so difficult as going through a period of time when the babies aren't coming at all.
You can read my Quiverfull Journey here (parts 2 & 3 talk about my time when babies weren't coming):
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Do I believe a woman should NEVER seek methods to promote conceiving? NO. I think the Lord expects us to keep our bodies in working order, but we must be careful that we are not trying to usurp the Lord's authority. What are our motives? Remember, the Lord's plans are not always (dare I say, RARELY) immediately evident to us. So, we really must seek all interventive methods with much prayer and diligent introspection of our hearts.
Another issue that will more than likely rear its ugly head at some point during our childbearing years is something I call The Conception Competition. Even something as pure and good as being quiverfull can turn sour in our sinful human hands. We all know what this Race to Conceive looks like and feels like. We want to "keep up with the Duggers." We don't want another quiverfull family to "beat us" We find ourselves thinking, "Whatever will I do if ______ (name of another quiverfull mama) gets pregnant before I do?" Jealousy is never far from the surface.
It is perfectly natural for a woman to desire children, but when bearing children becomes our sole focus, the essence of truly being quiverfull is lost. The verse reads, "Happy is the man that hath HIS quiver full of them." (emphasis mine) We are not all going to have the same quiver. The Bible clearly warns us against comparing ourselves amongst ourselves (2 Cor 10:12). This only leads to jealousy and sinful behaviors. If we are totally trusting the Lord with our family size, then we MUST be content with our family size at any given point in time.
We cannot spend our time being jealous of others or feeling as though we are less-than-quiverfull because we "only" have X-number of children. We must wholeheartedly enjoy OUR particular quiver. We cannot assume that since we have been having a baby a year that that trend will continue. God does not "guarantee" your fertility.
And having babies IS NOT a status symbol. Children are not "points" you "collect", they are blessings you receive from the Lord. We must appreciate each and every one for the individuality of their particular blessing. Showing off will only taint your quiverfull testimony.
Lastly, let your babies be babies. Enjoy every second you have with each of your little blessings. Should the Lord bless again, wonderful! Should He not, you have not spent so much time focusing on a future baby, that you have neglected the babies you do have.
It all comes down to TRUST. Do you trust the Lord to be the author of YOUR perfect plan? THAT is the essence of being quiverfull. So, please enjoy YOUR quiverfull!
Labels: Family Life, Quiverfull
posted by Nutmeg @ 11:08 AM
26 Comments
26 Comments:
Amy, Thank you so much for sharing that. It was a real blessing to me today.. :)
Amy, I needed to read this today. It has been a year of "trying" to live out our convictions after finally having our reversal, 8 years after being convicted. Recently God led us to rest in Him for His perfect will for our family. However, some days it is so much harder than others. Thank you!
Amy,
This was a very timely post for me. Thank you!
Amy,
First, congratulations on your new pregnancy! I am beyond excited for your family and praising the Lord for this new baby.
Second, thank you for this post. It really puts things into perspective about having children and being content with how many He's given you. Thank you!
Thank you. Great post and very timely for me.
Good comment, well written and well received.
This journey is not straight-forward for all of us, but it does always include great trust, and "not my will be done, but Thine".
Praying and believing for a blessed pregnancy.
Sherry
Dear Amy, The conception of my fourth baby was definitely not my timing; I wanted to wait a few months longer than what had been my norm, to get my body back (whatever that means!) after having my first 3 a little less than 2 years apart. Then when that 4th baby of mine was only 3 months old, my toddler died suddenly.
In an instant, I realized that just like I wasn't able to control conception, I also couldn't control death. And then I was afraid I may never conceive again.
When I got pregnant with my 5th baby, I kept thinking over and over, "The Lord has given and He has taken away, and He has given again."
~blessings to you Amy and may you treasure the time that you are pregnant. Thanks for sharing your heart.
Amy,... It is so funny that I came across this today... I found out last night that I am fully funded through blessed arrows! We will be going to have my TR surgery soon! I'll keep you updated!
well I'd better run for now, we just got back home from a LONG trip... I have LOADS of laundry to do...
Have a great day!
Tosha Tanquary
I found your blog... from one on your blog roll. I have sat here... in the wee hours of the night reading about your Emmy. Weeping...
your words... I am praying for you. For all of you.
words can not express.... I keep typing and then backspacing.
We have six children... I long for another... but I believe the Lord has closed my womb. My children pray for another.... but like you said.... trusting....
thank you for sharing. You are a wonderful writer....
Praying for your pregnancy... will continue to pray, Amy....
grace & peace,
Teena
www.homeschoolblogger.com/teena6
Very well written! We feel the same way, that having children is in God's timing not ours. Just this past week our pastor's wife asked me if we would have anymore, we have 5, and I told her it was up to God but we would love many more. I explained to her it wasn't just about having lots of babies, which I love :), but it was about giving it all to God.
Christine
As a barren woman, this just makes me ache. I wish so much to bless my husband with a child, but my broken body refuses.
I can't understand why God is letting this happen to us. It breaks my heart.
I can appreciate that many of the readers of this blog find this topic to be one of relevance, but as someone outside of this blessing I find it very hard.
Thank you so much for posting this. I have had trouble having children. The Lord has blessed me with three children when I was told I may never have any. We need to remember to be content with what God gives us. He contols us having 0,3, and 10. I think this gets forgotten. Not all of us choose small families but God gives us each the amount He feels we need , when He feels we need them. His timing is not our timing. Thank you!
I have been married 14 years, and we are quiverfull...with no children. The one child I lost at 10 weeks gestation, nobody knows about.
You really do see that the number of children are a status symbol with people, families with 6 or 8+ on the top, childless couples on the bottom, and all the rest scrabbling it out in between. I have long seen that there are few who haven't made the issue an idol. I did for many years as well.
It is not on this side that we will fully understand why this particular blessing is given so unevenly. But I have been childless for a long time, and I can say that with God's help we definitely can come to peace in this, and even praise God specifically that He did not give us as many children as we wanted--because there is so much good that can come from this, too. This is my prayer for every woman, at all times through life.
Thank you.
Wow! I have been so blessed by your post, especially your admonition to let my current baby be a baby This was just what I needed, just when I needed it.
It is hard to enjoy your quiverfull when the quiver is empty...but I certainly enjoy the time together that my husband and I have been blessed with.
I have taken the path of "trying to conceive". Yes, it was a massive struggle at first - but it was found that I wasn't ovulating well...I know that I could be on my medication for years and never conceive! We will only have little ones at our feet if it is the Lord's will.
I am so thankful for the two little ones we have had already...even though we didn't get to know them here on earth.
Our Mother's Day celebration at church always involves a special gift for the mother with the most children present. I know it is meant well, but that kind of competition saddens me especially when I know of more than one couple disheartened over infertility issues. I recall one mother who refused to breastfeed her children because she wanted to be able to conceive by six weeks postpartum. If we are going to let the Lord be Lord, than so be it.
I just wanted to say that I agree with your post and found it encouraging! Keep up the great writing and look forward to more post from you! :)
I found your blog through LAF. I don't come from a "quiverfull" family nor do I live what I guess would be the typified one. I am married to a pagan man, and I love the Lord and see His faithfulness to me through our marriage, though I married in rebellion to Him. He's given me a heart to be an Ezra, Nehemiah or Esther in my home to my "king" and He's also blessed me with a quiver full of TWO! Two boys, 3 and 5.
When I first read the title to this post I thought, "That's it! Enjoy the children you have Sheila!" even before reading your entire post. I've been praying that if it is the Lord's will He would grant me more blessings of children to train and love. This is new to me, since for the past 3 years I've been saying, "I don't want more children." It wasn't until recently that I began seeing the beautiful plan of God in regards to the increasing of His kingdom and mothering.
I am so thankful for the 2 that fill my quiver now! And I pray daily for the wisdom to train them up that I might be found a good steward of those God has entrusted to me.
thank you for this post! well said and heartfelt!
sheila
My mother would often wish for another baby and it would make me and my sisters feel just terrible. We always wondered why we weren't enough. I also am quiverful mama with 3 blessings. I had 8 years of infertility in my twenties but I am very grateful to God on what I do have.
Thanks for sharing this in such a loving way!
Sallie
Thank you for your post~I really needed to here the message. I needed to find contentment in my now~. You are a good writer!
My heart is just so broken. My husband and have been trying for our first baby for a long time, and the answer seems to be a consistent "no." It's so heartbreaking. Please pray for a miracle for us.
-- Amy C
very thought-provoking post. i especially appreciate the next to the last paragraph about enjoying your babies and not looking for the future babies. that's such an important point. i got started so late having my babies that i thought each one would be my last and i think i have fully enjoyed each one. they are all such precious gifts.
hi amy, yes I think one often forgets that letting God be in control doesn't necessarily mean there will a large number of children...i struggle with this personnally and am really trying to find peace with the fact that if God doesn't bless us with more children now, then that's also fine!
I don't want people to assume that we use birth control, but I don't have a super large family to "reveal" that fact - we have been blessed with five children, but only have three here on earth, as our first two (twins) were brought home to God when they were 20mo old.
yet, I also am reminded of the fact that it shouldn't matter what other people assume about my household, but what is really going on there is the important thing...and God has perfect plans for each of us....I just LOVED how you imaged that ones quiver can be full with a smaller number of children, that our quivers aren't all going to be of the same size...I had never thought about it that way. thank you for writing this!!
Thank you for this post!
We have 2 children and often I feel looked down upon by other families because we only have 2 children.
I firmly believe that 2 is my quiverfull, but often have not felt that was accepted.
I would love to have more children, but it is medically in my & an unborn child's best interest that I not have any more. I am ok with that.
Again, thank you!!! I plan on following your blog.
Many blessings,
Allison
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