Having it All Together

Something about keeping a blog that people actually read makes me feel like I have to have it all together all the time. Even a few people in my real life think I do have it all together all the time.

**Newsflash**

I don't.

What we read or even see on the internet and elsewhere isn't always a true picture of the real thing. I remember quite clearly the day when someone whom I thought had it all together all the time suddenly became real.

This person had the sweetest spirit of anyone I had ever known and I always wondered how she could be so meek and quiet all the time when I seemed to continually be a bumbling loudmouth. Then one day as I sat in her home chit-chatting, I heard her say something unkind about someone we both knew. I had never, ever heard her say an unkind thing about anyone and I was dumbfounded by her behavior. This perfect woman I wanted to be just like when I grew up crumbled before me and I won't deny the fact that I was devastated.

That probably sounds harsh, unfair, and totally unrealistic of me, but it was the truth. I was a young mom looking for someone to look up to. She was my role model (whether she knew it or not) and I hoped to someday be "as good as" her. After that day I saw her for who she really was...human...and it took me a long time to recover from the blow.

It's tough when role models fall from the unnatural pedestals we put them on. You've probably heard people talk about how celebrities in the lime-light need to make sure they "keep their noses clean" so that children who look up to them won't want to follow them into all sorts of illicit behaviors. Then there is the flip side where the celebrities say, "We didn't ask to be role models and we aren't perfect." There is truth in both sides.

While I think it is wonderful (and Biblical) to have Titus 2 women to look up to, we must be careful not to promote them to perfection. And of course, as daughters of the King, we must be ever-mindful of our attitudes and behaviors so the word of God is not maligned. However, perfection is not to be had here on earth. We shouldn't expect it from ourselves and can't expect it from others.

Yes, I want to encourage you in your walk. Yes, I want to offer you the same resources that have helped me along the way. Yes, I want to be a good role model. But, I have to be honest too. No, not with the kind of honesty that tears others down and destroys hope, but the kind of honesty that says, "Hey, I've got problems too."

My kitchen is perpetually messy...until my mom comes to visit.

I often don't get dressed until lunch time.

I have yet to be on the same school schedule for more than 1 week at any given time.

I am guilty of not wanting to cook dinner and begging my husband to take me out to eat.

I really, really, really like Dr. Pepper. And no matter how many times I say I'm going to give it up, I never do.

Last night I finally unpacked the last bag from our vacation...that ended a month ago.

My daughter once (ok, maybe more than once) wore the same braid in her hair for 4 days straight...and it looked like it.

and the list goes on and on and on...

I'm real and I don't have it all together. In fact, everyone is real and no one has it all together. We have strengths and weaknesses, struggles and successes (as my header says).

I know I've talked about this before, but today was one of those days when there were more struggles than successes. I wanted so badly to write a post on something fantastic, but found myself feeling discouraged and in need of some therapeutic blogging instead. I needed to come here and remind myself that having it all together is not the end game.

The day I thought I "lost" my role model, I actually gained something much more valuable...

Insight.

Insight into how a life exemplified by Christ is still a human, imperfect life. A reflection...Yes. The real thing...No.

And that is the way it should be.

If all my ducks were in a row all the time, I would never have come to an understanding of my utter sinfulness in the sight of a perfect Lord. A person who has it all together doesn't need a Savior. And a saved person still messing up is a continual reminder that we are weak, but He is strong.

So, folks, the only ducks I have in a row at the moment are the ones on the bathtub and even they only got that way for a quick photo op. I've learned to forget trying to keep the ducks in a neat and tidy row. Just getting them to stand in something resembling a line is good enough for me. God will straighten them out...

just like He straightens me out every single day.