Why People Stop and Stare...

"No, it's not twins."
"Yes, I'm sure."

"No, I've not dropped...I have no stomach muscles."

"Yes, I WILL make it to my due date...trust me."

"Yes, I always look like this."

"No, I will not go into labor here in the checkout line...I'm not even close to my due date."

"Yes, I know I'm all baby...I birth toddlers."

"No, I don't need a cart to carry my belly around."

"Yes, I can stand up and walk without falling over."

"No, I'm not overdue...I have until Christmas." (this began in August?!)

My absolute favorite is when I get up from a table that's been hiding my belly or when I turn around after having my back to someone...

This is the look I get:


Hee Hee...The Power of the Belly!

Thoughts on Birthing Another Baby

I am 32 weeks. That means I am only a hop, skip, and a jump (with a few waddles thrown in) away from giving birth. I know having a baby during the holidays will also serve to speed things up immensely.

So, what are my thoughts as I approach this momentous occasion? Well, let's just say they are different from anything I have ever experienced before. I suppose in many ways this is yet another first. The first time I have given birth since losing Emily.

I have found myself not preparing much. I am afraid of planning too much because I know how things can change in a blink of an eye. I have no expectations. In fact, I almost don't think about giving birth at all and I never think about watching the baby grow up. I've had the best pregnancy I've ever had and feel I could stay pregnant forever. And in many ways, that would be easier. I know the emotions that will come with giving birth again are going to be hefty.

And then there are the fears. I fear bringing the baby home. What if I don't really know how to care for babies? This utterly ridiculous thought plagues me despite the fact that I have birthed and cared for 5 children and Emily's death had nothing to do with my ability as a mother. I fear the first time baby is sick. What if I have no intuition anymore? What if I can't handle even the tiniest of colds? What if this fear completely immobilizes me?

My prayer is that when the first real contractions make themselves known, that the Lord will put a hedge around me and I'll leave the fears and negative thoughts behind. I pray He'll be with me through everything...from labor and delivery to bringing the baby home to caring for this new little one. And I pray that all I do will glorify Him and show that I know WHO is in control.

Fall Fun

Perhaps you took a gander at the date of this post and thought, "Wait a second! This is a year old?!" That's right...It's not a new post, but it definitely all about what we do each fall to celebrate the season! To enjoy more Family Fun from the Fall Festival, visit Daily Dwelling, today's host!



Ahhhhhh! The cooler weather is finally here and the leaves are obviously changing. This is the time of year when life seems to speed up and I work desperately to find ways to slow it back down.

One thing our family does every fall is attend a celebration at a local National Wildlife Refuge. They always have interesting nature-based exhibits, crafts for the children, and a yummy (and FREE) BBQ.

You'll notice the ORANGE shirts. The children have several "matching" outfits they can wear when we'll be in a large group of people and I need to find them quickly and easily. These are some t-shirts Grandma purchased for the kiddos--perfect for Fall!

Another thing we try to do is go to a pumpkin patch or corn maze. It's a great family-oriented event. I have a 10 year old expert map reader and a 7 year old who adores the twists and turns of the maze and the orange beauty of pumpkins in a field. I also have a 4 year old and 2 year old who love anything and everything the big kids do. We rarely go to the same pumpkin patch every year. This year our choice was a bison ranch that also had a pumpkin patch and a maze (we think it was millet, not corn--great height!) My husband is fascinated by bison, so this seemed a perfect fit...something for everyone!

Notice this time they are all in BLUE. Not nearly so easy to see them...probably won't do that again.

Quite often we just enjoy the beauty of the pumpkins and never carve them. However, we thought this year we would carve them and tell them the Pumpkin Parable. It turns out in the several years since we last carved pumpkins, we have acquired older children who are quite capable of pitching in and making light work of what used to be a rather laborious chore.

The children each drew their own face (Keian wanted Jesus--which sounds more like "Jeesch" in his little language, so we did a cross on his). Blake added a cross and a "J" to the sides of his pumpkin. Melia wanted hair on hers, and Megan had the neatest little crooked-smile mouth for her pumpkin.

Mommy and Megan scooped out the pumpkins while Blake and Daddy carved away. This is the first time Blake has used his personal knife for carving pumpkins. He was very careful and did a great job!



As soon as it turned dark, we all went outside and lit the tealights inside the pumpkins and oohed and aahed over the pretty lights. We had them lined up on the back patio where we could enjoy their light until bedtime. We'll probably leave them there because last year we had some disgruntled trick-or-treaters steal pumpkins off our front porch. We don't celebrate Halloween, so our lack of candy apparently incited the crime of pumpkin-stealing. ;O)



So, there you have it...a little Fall Fun! Happy Fall to Y'all!!!

Unprocessed Oatmeal Cookies

I can't remember where I picked up this gem of a recipe, but I LOVE THESE COOKIES! They make great picnic fare, or breakfast yummies, or quick snacks for the kiddos!

Unprocessed Oatmeal Cookies

1 c. butter
1/4 c. honey
1/4 c. pure maple syrup
2 large eggs
1/2 c. milk
1 Tbsp molasses
3 c. quick-cook oats
1 3/4 c. whole wheat flour
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/2 c. raisins

*Preheat oven to 350. Lightly grease 2 baking sheets (or use stones)

*Cream butter w/ honey and maple syrup.

*Whisk eggs w/ milk and molasses; beat egg mixture into butter mixture (resulting mixture may appear "curdled")

*Combine oatmeal w/ flour, nutmeg, & raisins. Stir into butter mix until well-blended.

*Drop by TBSPfuls onto sheets or stones.

*Bake 10 mins until tops are browned.

(note: "technically" there is some processing that has to occur in some of these ingredients, but for all intents and purposes, they are considered unprocessed)

Honesty Among Us

Lynnette at Dancing Barefoot on Weathered Ground is hosting this week's "In Other Words".

This is the first time I've done this, so who knows what will flow from my fingertips as I type! Here is the quote Lynnette chose:

"Friends, if we be honest with ourselves, we shall be honest with each other.”
George MacDonald

We've all heard the cliche' "Honesty is the best policy". And although, most of us agree with this statement, many of us hesitate when it comes to being honest with one another.

Why? Because honesty hurts.

There's no real way around it. Honesty, by its very nature, is something that usually goes against the grain. It is rarely something that comes easily. It is often difficult for both the truth-teller and the truth-receiver. It takes willingness, courage, conviction, integrity, a slow tongue, and a teachable spirit for honesty to be fully realized.

Now, there are those who in the name of honesty, go around telling everyone what they think of everything. More often than not, these people are blunt and downright rude. They are critical of everyone except themselves. Is this true honesty?

I don't think it is. I believe true honesty embodies all the attributes I listed above for BOTH the bearer and hearer.

Willingness: This is not a hard one for those who "go around from house to house." However, their willingness is ill-intentioned and it is their ill-intentions that cause the hearer to in turn be unwilling to hear. A person who is perpetually critical loses credibility rather quickly.

Courage: Someone who uses honesty properly and Biblically will find they need quite a bit of courage to open their mouths and speak truth. They will think twice before purposely inflicting the pain that honesty tends to cause. They will bathe their words in prayer and ask that the Holy Spirit go ahead of them. The hearer must also have courage to hear, not just listen, but truly hear. They must fight the urge to shut their ears or become defensive. This takes tremendous courage.

Conviction: The bearer has to believe that what they are saying is truth. If for one moment they waiver, honesty is lost. Likewise, the hearer must believe that honesty is important.

Integrity: As I mentioned in the section on Willingness, you can make or break your attempt at being honest with someone by your track record. Does your hearer see you as critical of everything? Or do they know you to be someone who lives honestly themselves and would never purposely try to hurt someone. The hearer must also be a person of integrity to truly grasp honesty. It is very difficult for someone who cares little for that which is upright to care for your attempt at providing an honest answer.

A Slow Tongue: "But no one can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison." (James 3:8) That right there says it all. If the bearer is quick-tongued, they might as well be shooting poison darts. And if the hearer is quick-tongued, they will have nothing but defensive words to offer. Both will eventually regret the evil this tiny muscle managed to invoke.

A Teachable Spirit: This is key, and the attribute that best embodies the quote. The person offering honesty must themselves be willing to hear honesty. They must be able to take the plank from their own eye before running off to tweazer out their neighbor's eye. They have to examine themselves and they have to be willing to lay their own faults on the line. How much sweeter this bitter pill of honesty is when the person who is being honest is also honest about their own shortcomings, flaws, and needs for correction. And of course, the receiver of honesty must have a teachable spirit otherwise you cast pearls at swine.

Being honest with others has a price. Being honest with ourselves has a price. It is very difficult to look ourselves in the eye (figuratively and literally!) How do we take constructive criticism? Are we teachable and introspective? Are we quick-tongued and defensive when met with honesty from others? Are we choosing our words wisely? Are we backing them with Scripture? What are our motives for being honest with one another? These (and many more) are all questions we must ask ourselves before ever opening our mouths. Honesty must start from within before it can ever live peaceably among us.

Make Mine Crushed

When I am pregnant, I am anemic. However, I am not your "normal" anemic person. My hemoglobin has been as low as a 7 and yet I am still walking around with what I would consider a normal level of energy. My palor continues to look fine and I do not sleep any more than usual. It tends to stupify medical personnel when they see my numbers and see me at the same time.

The OB usually prescribes iron pills early on (even before a blood draw)and when my stomach allows for it, I begin taking them. I've found that taking the iron is worse than living with the anemia, but I know my children deserve a healthy mama.

The only real guage prior to having a blood draw I have as to how bad my anemia has gotten revolves around my craving for crushed ice. It was not until I was pregnant with my 4th child, that I was informed of this interesting correlation between craving crushed ice and anemia. I just thought it was one of those wierd pregnancy cravings.

Apparently, there was a study done among nursing home patients involving these two factors. Question is, for someone younger (although there are many days when I do not feel all that young!) like me, why do I struggle so much with anemia?

So, I am being referred to a hematologist. With less than 10 weeks to go in this pregnancy, the doctors are hoping to find some answers, raise my numbers, and have me in good shape to deliver this little one.

Until then, I will eat my crushed ice.

My Homeschool Blog

I didn't know how many of you knew this, but I keep a Homeschooling Blog at another site.

Originally, it was my only blog. Last fall, I began this blog with the intentions of moving everything from the homeschool blogger site to here. Then, I wrote the infamous "Me Time Myth" post on the homeschool site and Ladies Against Feminism put it on their site for a time. Let me tell you, that brings a lot of traffic to a site--not all of it from Christian readers, either!

Then, I was asked to rework the article for publication in The Old Schoolhouse magazine. This was a very exciting offer, and I eagerly worked through the editing and clarifying process. The article debuts in the Fall edition!

All of this made me decide to keep my homeschool site and dedicate it solely to homeschooling. Obviously, I cannot completely separate the 2 blogs because being a homeschooling mama is part of who I am. However, the homeschooling blog is really more about encouragement specifically for homeschooling mothers.

In some ways, there is less of "me" on the homeschool site. Some of that is due to the fact that I just cannot seem to make the template there work for me...all I know of html, I accidentally learned and the homeschoolblogger site doesn't lend itself to accidental learners. (however, I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to win the Blog Design Giveaway I mention on the blog!!!)

I also felt I needed a separate place to grieve Emily. I sometimes wonder if this blog will always carry a touch of grief within its pages and posts.

In my sidebar here, there is a link to the homeschooling site with feed from that site, so you can see what I am writing about over there. One reason I wanted to bring this to your attention is that I am currently doing a series on Homeschooling Daughters. As you can imagine, this is not the most politically correct post on the block, but I've never been known for being politically correct.

So, please, if you have a moment, take a look at the homeschooling site. You will see some duplicate posts from here, but you will also see a myriad of other posts that I hope you would enjoy reading or at least enjoy chewing on for a bit. ;o)

Diapers for Baby

Babies need diapers. Even the die-hard Elimination Communication crowd has a few diapers stashed away somewhere.

With my first child, diapers were a no-brainer. Take what the hospital offers, buy whatever you have coupons for or whatever is cheapest from there. With my second child, I pretty much followed the same guidelines until she was about a year old. That's when I read that people still practiced the archaic form of diapering a child known as CLOTH DIAPERING. *gasp*

At this particular juncture in my life, I was searching for what good Christian mamas who aspire to have large families do all day. Apparently, they were all cloth diapering! (ok, so I was a little misinformed) My biggest trepidation was the fear of having to dunk poopy diapers all day long, but if it would make me a better mama, then I would do it. I did not want to somehow be "less-than", so I began diligently researching cloth diapering. Well, come to find out cloth diapers were no longer prefolds, pins and plastic pants. Oh sure, they still sold a large number of those, but there were tons of new-fangled dipes hitting the market that were supposed to make cloth diapering a breeze.

So, I jotted note after note to myself as I read about what other cloth-diapering mamas used and loved and then checked websites and prices. Well, let me tell you, for a mama with little cash to spare, forking over $300 dollars for a stash of diapers seemed utterly frightening. Now, I know I could break that up by sizes and spend less at a time, but was this cloth diapering thing really worth it?

In case you are wondering the same thing, here is a little calculator to help you figure it all up. Diaper Pin Calculator I didn't have this handy little tool, so my figures were not as accurate, but I did find that cloth would most definitely pay for itself eventually.

HOWEVER, by this time, my daughter was nearing her 2nd birthday and I figured it wouldn't be long before she was completely out of diapers. With no new baby entering the scene, I knew I could not recoup my money and decided to stick with disposibles.

Fast-forward 2 years to the impending birth of our 3rd child. The cloth diaper thought re-enters the scene. I mention it to my mother. My mom begins to pester me about whether I'll choose cloth or disposibles. I get tired of telling her I don't know and finally say disposibles, money still being a bit of a hang-up in the whole thing for me. Next thing I know, I find myself at a surprise diaper shower! A year's worth of diapers was what I ended up with! Definitely NOT doing cloth!

But, then something interesting took place. When my newest daughter turned 9 months, we discovered that what I figured was an ulcer turned out to be a baby! Couple this with the fact that the free diaper supply was quickly dwindling and you have a mama who considers cloth once again.

Then one day I ran out of diapers at church and a friend loaned me a prefold of hers...pins and all! She walked me through the whole thing and the diaper actually stayed on!

What finally sold me once and for all, was when my friend, Sarah, got a stash of cloth diapers for cheap. They just happened to be the same ones I had about convinced myself to buy all those years ago, and she was more than willing to let me try a few since her baby wasn't due for another couple of months.

I fell in love.

No, I'm not kidding you. I literally fell in love with cloth diapering from that moment on. There was something very satisfying to me about putting those Motherease One-size diapers and Air Flow covers on my chubby little 1 year old and watching her crawl and toddle about.

From there, it snowballed. I did invest in a stash of used Motherease, but during that purchase, I was introduced to what I did not know existed back in 2001 when I first had researched cloth diapering. There were literally HUNDREDS of diapering systems out there. Best of all, there was this thing called a MiniShower that I could spray the diapers off with and never dunk them! WOO HOO!!!

As the birth of our 4th child drew nearer, I was informed that the Motherease diapers don't do so well on newborns. I was advised to try fitteds, but was aghast at how much it was going to cost me. I bought a few fitteds online and realized that the construction wasn't something that was beyond my meager sewing skills. Not to mention, there were a ton of How-To sites for making your own cloth diapers. It really looked fairly easy.

So, I stocked up on flannel and began sewing like crazy. Not too long into my diaper sewing frenzy, my husband's grandmother offered me a serger she had packed away brand new. WOW! A woman from church came to help me with the serging and sewing of my stash and by the time it was all said and done, I had quite a nice stash costing me about $3 per diaper.

I've learned a lot since then. My sewing skills got better with each new diaper I churned out. I now prefer other types of fabric. I've gone to using snaps instead of velcro. And at one point in time, I even owned my own diaper business. One thing; however, has remained constant...I am a cloth diaper fanatic!

I could sit and talk diapers for hours. I see diaper fabric everywhere..."You can't send that old shirt to Goodwill! It would make a perfect diaper!"

I still sew up new diapers for each new baby. I love seeing them wear something I've created, something made just for them with love. This baby is no exception.

So, without further ado, here are some of this baby's stash of cloth diapers made by mama...

Here are the links to the pictures of the soakers:

Turned & Topstiched Soaker

Serged Soaker

How the soaker lays in the diaper

And here's a bonus:
Fleece Soaker/Cover

I used the free pattern found HERE:

Mind Over Belly

Get a group of ladies together and you are sure to eventually hear talk of having babies. And as sure as you will hear talk of having babies, you will hear talk of what pregnancy was like for each woman. Many of these stories sound like something out of a war memoir. In fact, if you stay long enough, they will begin to try to outdo one another.

"My back hurt so bad, I had to sleep with 5 pillows!"

"Well, my back hurt so bad, I had to sleep in the recliner!"

"Well, my back hurt so bad, I didn't sleep at all!"

or

"My morning sickness was so bad, I lost 10 pounds!"

"Well, my morning sickness was so bad, I took anti-nausea meds!"

"Well, my morning sickness was so bad, I lost 20 pounds because I couldn't keep the anti-nausea meds down!"

It's not that we mean to get into this little competition of sorts, it's just that we are certain no one had it as rough as we did and somehow we must prove it...even if we have to embellish just a wee bit. And honestly, there are some of us, who don't need to embellish a single bit to have quite the war, I mean pregnancy, story to tell.

But, is all this dreary exchange of the worst "this" and the worst "that" really a constructive use of our time? Does it help us in any way? Not really. In fact, I would submit that it actually makes things MUCH worse.

Case in point...

With my first baby, I spent the last 2 months wishing it was over. Let me tell you that was a LONG 2 months!

With my second child, I had horrid, awful morning sickness. I was terribly depressed because of it, an emotional train-wreck. In fact, I nearly went through with having my tubes tied so I would never, ever have to do that again.

Then, a 3 year gap in babies. During that unexpected time, I learned much. One thing I learned was from a friend who was carrying her first child. She NEVER complained. Even when she went long overdue, she NEVER complained. Some of the women who knew her would whisper about how she was too good to be true and they didn't know how she could possibly be content and be that overdue. Her answer to their incredulous looks of pity sounded something like this, "I don't mind. Baby will come when it is time." However, as her friend, I knew she hurt. Her hips were creaking, her back was always out of place, and she had endured the same horrid morning sickness that I had. However, she was bound and determined to enjoy every second of growing this new little life.

What I gleaned from her contentment was a new outlook on handling my own pregnancies. And when I became pregnant just a few months after she gave birth to her son, I CHOSE to adopt a positive outlook despite the difficulties that lie ahead.

In fact, looking back, I KNOW my pregnancy with our third child was by far, the most difficult. The morning sickness kept me on the couch until 20 weeks, the anti-nausea meds did nothing to help. I had horrible Restless Legs Syndrome to the point I would stay up until the wee hours of the morning bouncing on my birthing ball until with legs so exhausted and weak, I would literally fall into bed. I had hemorrhoids that required pain meds, and a host of other "issues" that need not be mentioned here lest they embarass the writer beyond recovery. Had I not worked very hard to stay positive and happy, I could have tumbled into the miry-clay of self-pity and really, no one would have faulted me one little bit.

But, instead, I made the best of everything. I even performed in a Broadway Revue where I sang "Broadway Baby" in all my 8 1/2 months of glory. I kept a smile on my face and happy words on my lips. If nothing else, I was convincing myself that this was a good pregnancy...an easy pregnancy. By golly, I could do this again!

And that, my dear readers, is the true moral of this story. What good does it do us to wallow in our aches and pains? Does it truly help to recount every awful moment of our pregnancy to anyone who stands near us more than 2 seconds? What do our other children learn from our belly-achin'? Mama hates having babies? Babies are horrible little parasites? Pregnancy is nothing but pain that ends in pain so we can bring the little pain home to live?

Not that I think it is wrong to share and empathize and occasionally vent, but to spend our entire pregnancies lamenting every single aspect of growing a baby doesn't show a whole lot of gratitude to the Giver of Life. These little blessings aren't just blessings once they get here, they are blessings from the very beginning. That is why I chose to have a section specifically about Enjoying Your Pregnancy. So many people don't. From the positive test to the first push, they are just itchin' to get it all over with.

But, what would happen if you actually tried to enjoy your pregnancy? What would happen if you put a smile on your face and looked for the good instead of dwelling on the bad? What would happen if when someone suggested you must be miserable you said in return, "Oh no! I LOVE being pregnant!" No, there wouldn't be a long exchange of war stories. No, you couldn't let them know just how horrible you actually feel. But, imagine your testimony. You feel BLESSED to be carrying a child, not BURDENED! When the whole nation sees children as a pain to be endured, you see them as a privilege to be held...inside as well as outside.

Drink those moments in, ladies! Consider all the beauty of pregnancy. Stop dwelling on every single ache and pain. Treasure those kicks. Enjoy the fringe benefits of being pregnant...the naps no one questions, the best seat in the house, the ready-made tray table, also known as your belly! It truly can be a beautiful time in your life, but you have to resolve to practice a little mind over matter...or in this case, mind over belly!

Enjoy!

Name Lynnette's Blog CONTEST!

Lynnette Kraft, author of In Faithfulness, He Afflicted Me needs to name HER BLOG and wants your help! She's offering a Grand Prize of a $25 gift certificate to Barnes & Noble along with a copy of her book! Two Runner-Ups will also receive a copy of her book!

So, visit her blog today and help her name her blog. Hurry, though, you only have until Saturday at midnight!!!

(in case the link does not work, here is the url: http://lynnettekraft.blogspot.com/ )

This Time Last Year

The leaves are exchanging their life-filled greens for their vivid death-filled yellows, oranges and reds. They are beginning to fall gracefully from the trees and blanket the ground with their crunchy beauty. You can do little to avoid stepping on the leaves that now litter the paths and yards here in the Midwest.

Like the leaves, I can do little to avoid the memories that fall upon me as summer gives way to autumn and autumn to winter. I am currently in the "this-time-last year" mode.

The pictures of the vacation we took "this time last year" show the beautiful fall colors of South Dakota and four happy children enjoying a romp in Custer State Park as their 3 month old little sister looks on from her carseat.

Soon, there will be Thanksgiving "this time last year" and the turmoil that came just a few short days after that.

From there, the air will turn cold and snow may fall, and I will remember "this time last year" when we lived in a hospital for weeks on end as my daughter underwent multiple surgeries.

Next, will be Christmas "this time last year" when we brought her home from the hospital and all her siblings showered her with lots of love and Christmas gifts.

Then, another round of "this time last year" in the hospital with yet another surgery, but the solid hope that she would heal and not need any more.

After that will come my birthday "this time last year", when I quickly snapped a picture of a sweet 7 month old Emmy in her little white hat and floral overalls sitting like a china teacup on our couch.

Then, will come February 10. And "this time last year" will be the last time I can include a living memory of my little Emily. That memory will not be pleasant. It will be filled with pain and grief.

From there, I will remember funeral preparations and on February 14, I will remember the day I last saw my child's face, the day I said goodbye.

After that, "this time last year" will begin to include different memories. Eventually, "this time last year" will include a new little one. The grief will change a bit at that point because I will have walked through all the firsts.

This season is a difficult one. I find the tears slip from my eyes more readily these days. I find that as I nuture the babe within, I am all the more aware of the child we are without.

The pain is much different from the agony of those first months. It is a pain based on memories, many of them good memories. It is strange dichotomy.

But as I walk this memory-filled path, I am not alone. There is One who knows my pain. There is One who walks alongside me, bottles my tears, holds me up when I stumble. To every question, He is my answer. To every stormy moment, He is my rock. Never before have I known so acutely what it means to trust in the Lord. Not until "this time last year."