Homeschooling and the Morning Sickness Factor

As I emerge from the morning sickness and begin to feel well again, I thought I'd share some insights I've gleaned from the 5 times I have done this since I began homeschooling.

*First off, give yourself a break.  Morning sickness is not for the wimpy.  It takes a lot of energy to lay on a couch and try to convince yourself you will survive.  In fact, it takes a lot of energy just to make it to the couch in the first place (unless of course, you spent the night there).  So, give yourself permission to take a break from all things.

*Make meals as simple as possible, enlist someone to help you with laundry and dishes...better yet, use paper plates, cups, etc.  Get your husband to shop for you and keep the refrigerator stocked with easy snacks for you and the children.  Don't be afraid to ask for help.  You can be superwoman some other time.

*As for homeschooling, consider my post at The Homeschool Classroom on Homeschooling Year Round.  You can catch up later.  That is one of the many beauties of homeschooling ~ flexibility.  Is there really a need for you to stress right now about what is not getting done?  Think about the larger picture.  Will it really matter that you did not do 2 months worth of math with your 3rd grader when you can make up those 2 months somewhere else?  Older children can keep up with many of their studies on their own and with very little direction.  The short amount time you are sick (I know it feels like an eternity when you are in the midst of it), will even itself out in the long run.  It will be okay.  I promise.

*Avoid "Bad Mother Syndrome".  I am convinced that my children are the most unruly, my house the most messy, my world the most chaotic, and I am very, very afraid I will never, ever feel "normal" again.  It is during these times that it is most crucial for you to ask for the Lord's guidance.  Sometimes, these feelings are a good "jumping-off" point for us to truly analyze our shortcomings and those we see within our families, but we also must be aware that Satan will use these times when we are already down and out to knock us down further and convince us we are no good at this Christianity thing or this homeschooling thing.  He will put questions into our heads like:

"Wouldn't they all be better off if I just sent them to public school?"  

So, even in the midst of your illness, you must ask the Lord for discernment.  Ask Him to show you TRUTH and give you the ability to PERSEVERE.

*And finally, when you do come up for air and realize the morning sickness is beginning to subside, REJOICE!  Then...

take a moment to look around you and do the next thing.  What one thing that did slip while you were "away" should be re-established right away?  Do you need to take some time to get the discipline of the children back under control?  Is your husband begging  you to clean the house and have all the laundry done up?  Is everyone hungry for some "real food?"

Do not despair...what fell apart while the couch held you hostage will not take all that long to rectify with a little bit of consistancy.

So, as a final note, let me say as someone who has survived morning sickness many times and who has homeschooled through a majority of those times, I empathize completely with your plight.  It is a very difficult place to be.  I hope you find some encouragement from my words.  And a great big cyber-hug from me to you!

Winner of the Bibidy Bobidy Bowtique Hairbow Giveaway!

The winner is Denisse!  

Congratulations!

Community Gardening - Frugal and Fun!

I mentioned in my Irish Supper post that we would be sharing our supper with some other families and planting potatoes the same day for a corporate garden.  I thought I would take a moment to share with you the awesomeness of this little community garden my friend Char planned out.

This is her detailed plan row by row.  Let me just tell you, I am soooo glad SHE is the one planning this, because just looking at this chart boggles my poor little brain!

On Wednesday, we only planted cold crops.  Into the ground went potatoes, broccoli, onions, a few heads of lettuce, and kohlrabi.  But, first we had to do some prep work.

Rows had to be staked:

Watering systems had to be put together:

Potato cages had to be assembled (this was a new concept to me and something Char researched long and hard.  I'm anxious to see how it works!)

After the prep work came lots of planting and fun!  The children had a blast...all 14 of them!

The most awesome part about 3 moms and 14 children working in the garden was that as one set of children pooped out on us, the next set was ready to go.  It stayed fresh and lively and happy for all involved!

So, if you'd love to have a garden, but are worried about the work involved, why not consider gathering up a bunch of friends (or finding a friend with a garden plot already) and forming a community garden?!  It's a wonderful (and frugal) way to share resources and bounty!

SLOW Down

 photo credit

I really enjoy reading in the book of James.  I have gleaned so much from that book over the years.  When Emmy died, it was the words from James 4 that gave us comfort and sparked the desire for "Be Unto Your Name" to serve as "her song." (Take a moment to listen to the song and watch our tribute to Emily.)

James is full of so much meat, you could literally read it over and over again and find something different each and every time.  And so much of what is contained there, I need to hear over and over again.  Like this verse:

"So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God."
James 1:19-20

Now, mind you, never in my life have I "wanted" to be slow.  I ran high hurdles in high school...slow was not a good thing there.  I was on the quiz bowl team...slow was not a good thing there.  I cook for a family of 7...slow is not a good thing there.  I hate to shop...slow is not a good thing there.  So, being slow is not really something I have found myself striving toward.

Slow *usually* equals INEFFICIENCY.  But, the Lord's wisdom is not man's wisdom, so....SLOW IS A GOOD THING (when it comes to anger, that is).

If you take your time with someone...listen to them thoroughly...wait for the right moment to speak...refrain from knee-jerk reactions...THEN, the righteousness of the Lord will be produced.  However, just because you were slow, does not mean God's righteousness will somehow magically become fast!  Remember that verse..."WAIT on the Lord" (Ps 27:14a)?  Yet another slow word!

So, I have a very simple yet profound question for you today...

ARE YOU SLOW?

Setting Up a School Schedule - Part 2

photo credit

Let's just pick up where we left off in the last post on scheduling school...

We had six points to cover:
1.  Decide what subjects need to be studied by each child.

2.  Decide what subjects can be done corporately and which are independent.

3.  Figure how much time is needed for each subject.

4.  Decide an approximate start time and if you will start with corporate work or independent work.

5.  Decide if your child/children or you need tight structure or loose boundaries.

6.  Work the plan for at least a week before deciding if it works or not.
 
We covered the first three in the previous post, so let's move on to the last three.

*****

4.  Start time and corporate versus independent - First of all, you need to go back and decide if you are routine or scheduled.

If you are routine, you won't set forth an exact school time. However, you will need to decide where school falls in your day.  Before chores?  After lunch?

If you are scheduled, you need a start time that works well with the rest of your household activities.  Early risers can start earlier and finish earlier.  Some may opt to start around 1pm so the baby and toddlers can be down for naps.  There is no rule that says school must start at 8am for every single homeschool family.  (Some families even school at night!)

Now, for corporate versus independent work being done first.  Here's a good rule of thumb to decide which needs to be done first...

Can mom stop what she is doing when it is time for school or does she find there are still some things that need her attention before she can give her full attention to school.

This will be different for every family.  For me, I still have things that need my attention before I can focus on school, so my children start with their independent work.  That gives just enough time for me to finish those chores, check on their work and set up for corporate school work.

5.  Tight structure or loose boundaries - Once again, totally dependent on your specific family dynamics.  Structured families will be more likely to keep a tight structure while routine families will thrive with loose boundaries.  Keep in mind; however, no boundaries will have you schooling all day ending with frustrated children and a frustrated mama. {Ask me how I know ;)}

6.  Give the plan time - Just because Day 1 works beautifully and Day 2 is a nightmare does not mean the plan is a failure.  Stick to it for at least a week before deciding it needs to be changed and then don't necessarily change everything.  Consider where the day had hiccups and work on those areas rather than ditching the entire plan.

So, now it's your turn!  Got a school schedule you'd like to share?  Or maybe some posts on how you fit school into your day?  Share them here!  Add a short title/description and the URL of your blog post in the McLinky below.  You can also head over to my BlogFrog community and join the discussion there!



Setting Up a School Schedule
Part 1
This is Part 2

Setting Up a School Schedule - Part 1

photo credit

Last week, we talked scheduling for our To-Do List.  Now, let's add in a homeschool schedule (or routine).

OK, here's a quick run down of what we'll cover.  I'm going to go over half of these points in this post and then go through the second half in a subsequent post.  Give a shout out if you feel like I'm not giving you enough information...I'm trying to avoid being too wordy.

1.  Decide what subjects need to be studied by each child.


2.  Decide what subjects can be done corporately and which are independent.


3.  Figure how much time is needed for each subject.


4.  Decide an approximate start time and if you will start with corporate work or independent work.


5.  Decide if your child/children or you need tight structure or loose boundaries.


6.  Work the plan for at least a week before deciding if it works or not.

Alrighty, let's flesh this out a bit, shall we?

1.  Each child's subjects - Say you have 2 elementary aged children you are schooling and a preschooler you would like to work with on the side.  Your list is going to include all 3 children and the subjects for each child.  It might (and I use that term loosely!) look something like this:

Child #1 -Bible, Math, Grammar, History (we use Sonlight), Spelling (we use Phonetic Zoo), Science
Child #2 - Bible, Math, Handwriting, Grammar, History, Science
Child #3 - Bible, Counting, Letter recognition, Crafts
{you can see more links to the curriculum we use on my Homeschooling Mother page.}

2.  Corporate versus Independent - This will depend heavily on your curriculum...and you.  Do you like to be hands on with everything?  Can you handle that?  Do your children like working together on most subjects?  Do you prefer they work on their own as much as possible?

Once you've decided which subjects you'd like to have everyone do together and which ones you'd like to have done independently, write a "C" or an "I" next to that subject on your list.  Make sure if you don't have curriculum on hand that lends itself to those choices, that you spend some time shopping around for what you are looking for.

3.  How much time - Be honest with yourself here.  Based on past experience (or the experiences of homeschool moms you trust), how much time does each subject REALLY take.

Next to each subject for each child, write an approximate amount of time it takes them to complete that subject.  Here's an example of what my list would like thus far for Child #1:

Child #1
Bible (I) - 15 mins
Math (I) - 30 mins
Grammar (I) - 20 mins
History (C) - 45 mins
Spelling (I) - 15 mins
Science (C) - 15 mins

Now, you have to decide if each subject needs to be covered every single day.  My quick answer is NO.  I'll explain how I would separate out the subjects I listed in point 1, but what you have to decide for your family is which subjects hold the most weight and which subjects will be done just as well when not done every day.

Bible - every day
Math - every day
Handwriting - every day
Grammar - every day
History - 3x a week with independent History readers done every day
Spelling - every day
Science - 3x a week
Counting - 3x a week
Letter Recognition - every day

Now, on a sheet of paper, plug in your subjects by days.  Your every day subjects are no-brainers.  You'll plug those in Monday through Friday.  Your 3, 2, and 1 day a week subjects will need to be added after that.

Take into consideration which days are typically the busiest for you.  Don't overschedule yourself on those days.  And there is no rule that says 3 day a week subjects must be done on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.  Be flexible and creative.

So, now you have something that looks like this:
Homeschool Schedule Temp1

Next post we'll discuss start times, structure, and working the plan.

If you'd like, head over to my blog frog community and let me know where you have found struggles and successes in setting up a homeschooling schedule.

Setting Up a School Schedule
This is Part 1
Part 2 - Coming Soon!

Bibidy Bobidy Bowtique Giveaway!

This past October I was in my hometown for the annual Oktoberfest.  A booth with little girl bows caught my eye and I stopped to peruse the cute little bows.  The woman behind the booth suddenly said, "Hi Amy!"  My un-observant self was totally caught off guard until I realized I had gone to high school with her!

Laura is now a stay at home mother of two little girls, Morgan (11) and Jordan (5).  She loves to craft, so when it came to having two girls and hair accessories being so expensive and hard to find exactly what you need, she decided to make her own (a woman after my own heart!).

Her girls are the inspiration for her creations and are constantly giving her ideas for new additions to her etsy shop: Bibidy Bobidy Bowtique.  Her bows are always hand sewn for durability and made from quality grossgrain ribbon.  And besides that, they are oh so cute!

And Laura doesn't just do hairbows, she also does tutus and beaded socks!  Such adorable things!

So, you can see why I am so excited to be able to offer a giveaway of Laura's Bibidy Bobidy Bowtique creations!

Wondering what you'll get if you win this giveaway?  How about this:

You get 4 beautiful hairbows and 1 pair of beaded socks!

What do you have to do to win?  It's easy and there's lots of ways to enter!

1.  Leave a comment. (1 entry)


2.  Facebook, Tweet, Blog this giveaway (1 entry per day per place)


3.  Buy something from Bibidy Bobidy Bowtique (5 entries)

Good luck!  Giveaway ends Friday, March 19th at midnight CST.

*****

Disclosure: I received hairbows & a pair of socks for my 5 year old from Bibidy Bobidy Bowtique.

Does My Blog Look Funny?

If so, it is more than likely an Internet Explorer issue.  There are 3 things you can do to resolve the issue:

1. Click on the incompatible icon.  This is the tiny torn paper icon next to my blog's address in your address bar.  Internet Explorer is notorious for not working...thus the little icon.

2.  Change browsers.  Find something other than Internet Explorer.  They just aren't keeping up with the changing internet.

3.  Subscribe to my blog in a reader or via email.  This can be done by clicking the link below:

Never miss a minute of
Raising Arrows!
Click on the icon to get my feed in a reader or via email!

Sorry for the inconvenience everyone! Don't want to lose anyone over an annoyingly messed up blog!

Irish Supper Menu

Royal Tara Irish Bone China

I'm half Irish. We Irish are a proud bunch. We may have been in the States for hundreds of years, but still our idea of a dream vacation is to head to the "Mother Country" and kiss the Blarney stone. And we very much like the fact that we have our very own holiday.

Growing up, my family didn't have the traditional green supper. We'd often have green cake or some such thing and of course, the traditional wearin' o' the green, but I didn't start celebrating St. Patrick's Day with a specific meal until 2008.

St. Patrick's Day is rather bitter-sweet for me in many ways.  In 2003, it was the date of my D&C after my second miscarriage.  In 2007, it was exactly a month after Dad's death (where my Irish blood comes from).

In 2008, it was the first meal I cooked following my daughter Emily's death 5 weeks earlier.


picture from our 2008 Green Supper

You might ask:

Why would I choose to make my first meal back in the kitchen following Emmy's death an Irish Supper?  

For the same reason we started a Jesse Tree that year.  I felt we needed new memories and new traditions.  So much of what we celebrated before was edged in pain because "last time" Emmy was with us. (this fact is precisely the reason I encourage friends of grieving parents to offer memberships to museums and such after a child's death--it is something new and different.)

That said, our supper was still painful, just not *as* painful as it would have been had it been something we did *before* Emmy died.

That first supper was prepared using an e-book from Urban Homemaker.  However, I don't think she sells it anymore.  Besides, I don't do things the same way anymore.  And this year, since we'll be sharing our Irish Supper with several other families, I thought I'd share it with you too!

photo credit

Corned Beef & Cabbage
Throw it in the crock pot...end of story.
{OK, maybe there's a little more to the story, but suffice it to say, I refuse to slave over corned beef when my crock pot can do it for me...}

Start in the morning with the corned beef on low.
Add the cabbage at lunch time.
Serve for supper on a large platter.

(If you want, you can add onion, garlic, cloves, and bay leaves for seasoning.  Corned beef often continues to have a pinkish tint to it even when it is completely done.  It's ok, trust me.)

*****

 photo credit - ignore the kielbasa ;)

Colcannon
You can do this recipe in addition to or instead of the cabbage in the crock.

1 head cabbage, shredded
4 leeks, chopped or 2 onions, chopped
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 stick butter
10 Yukon Gold potatoes, diced

In a heavy saucepan, put butter, cabbage, onions, & garlic.  Stir & cook over medium heat.  Don't brown!

In a separate pan, boil potatoes until soft.  Drain, reserving enough liquid to mash potatoes to a soft consistency.

Combine all.  Add salt and pepper to taste.

Serve heaped up into a mound with a well in the center for more butter or sprinkle colby cheese over top and put into a preheated oven until cheese melts.
Serves 6-8

*****

photo credit

Irish Soda Bread
2 c. flour
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 c. sugar
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/4 c. butter
1/4 c. raisins
1 tsp caraway seeds
1 egg
about 1/2 c. buttermilk (you can use milk)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

In a small bowl, mix together dry ingredients.  Cut butter into dry ingredients using a fork or pastry blender.  Mixture should resemble course meal.  Add the raisins and caraway seeds.

Break the egg into a 3/4 measuring cup and then add enough buttermilk to fill the cup.  Add this mixture to the dry ingredients and mix until thoroughly blended.

Take the dough out of the bowl and knead.  Then, split the dough into several small rounds of the same size.  Make a cross on top of each round with a knife and drizzle melted butter on top.  Sprinkle sugar on top.

Place on greased cookie sheet and bake until golden brown (approx 30 mins).
This bread can double as side dish and dessert if you like.

*****

Dessert
I'm not picky here.  If it's green, I'm good.  So, you can do:
cupcakes with green frosting
green frosted cake
sugar cookies with green sprinkles
mint chocolate chip ice cream
or whatever your little Irish heart desires!

*****

So, March 17th will find me at a friend's house planting potatoes (we're doing a corporate garden this year) and eating our Irish Supper!  What will you be doing?

Join the Spring Cleaning Curriculum Giveaway!

Curriculum Clean Out!

 

This is an excellent opportunity hosted by TheCurriculumChoice.com to not only get rid of your curriculum, but win some great curriculum from other people!  Click on the link to learn more!

Baby Gets a Haircut

The "Before"

First, I must beg your forgiveness for the poor quality of photography here.  We kept wondering why things were out of focus and why the camera was focusing on strange areas of the photo.  Come to find out a great big smudge (courtesy of Micah) was the culprit!  The pictures were taken prior to our revelation.

OK...now on with the story...

Some of you might think me extravagant, but I have this silly notion that my boys' first haircuts (and for some reason, not my girls'...go figure) have to be done by someone we know and trust...and that someone is NOT me.

I can shave a head with the best of them, but I do not do normal, every day little boy haircuts.

I knew Micah's hair had to be cut by my friend Lori, despite the fact her shop is an hour away from my house.  {Yeah, I know it didn't *have* to be cut by Lori, but you must remember I am pregnant and once I get a notion in my head, there is just no getting around it.}

"Hey there, Dad!"

Micah wanted nothing to do with the big chair, so I held him (and ended up quite hairy, I might add).  Other than that little hiccup, he was good as gold and sat nicely for his haircut.  Lori crowned him the best first haircut ever!

 "I'm outta here!"

With the weight of his hair gone, Micah quickly ran off to find his sibs and show them his cuteness. {ok, so maybe he was just looking for the toy room}.

"I'm a Big Boy now!"

He was so busy, we had a hard time getting any cute face-on shots of him, but you get the idea.

I still find myself looking over at him and admiring his new haircut and marveling in the fact that my little one is growing up. *sigh*

Oh, and in case you are wondering where he got his adorable little outfit...
The babylegs are from DittanyBaby.com (they're called skid pants there).
The owl embroidered t-shirt is from Mimi's Babies.

{yes, I know I can make my own BabyLegs, but sometimes a mama's gotta splurge...this was my splurge!}

*****

Disclosure time:
I schedule posts about a week in advance.  When I wrote this post, Mimi's Babies was NOT one of my sponsors.  Frankly, I adore her products and wanted to mention where the owl shirt came from.  Well, 2 days prior to this post going live, Mimi's Babies became one of my sponsors here at Raising Arrows.  Obviously, this does not change my opinion of their products, but I have to disclose...so now ya know. :)

When You Just Can't Hack Cloth Diapering

This baby shall remain anonymous because he is embarrassed his mother put him in a disposable diaper.

OK, not really.

He seriously doesn't care.

So, why do I?

I could spout something about how I'm filling landfills and how I'm putting chemicals next to his sensitive skin, but it won't change the fact that right now I cannot hack cloth diapering.

Now, don't get me wrong...I LOVE cloth diapering.  There is something terribly satisfying about putting cloth next to your baby's skin.  And cloth you've made...well, that's even better!  I am looking forward to returning to cloth diapering, but I refuse to be a martyr to something that is simply a preference.

It is a "good thing", but it does not own me.

But, "good things" are like that, aren't they?  They are so good that we would gladly stand on soapboxes for them.  They are so good that we would gladly sacrifice other "lesser" things in order to continue with the good things.  We feel so strongly about them that we have a hard time imagining our life without them.

And then life throws a curve ball...

And the "good thing" starts to have consequences we can't manage.

For me, it was the ick factor (yes, there IS an ick factor with cloth diapering.  You can read how I usually deal with it HERE.) and the fact that even my normal, everyday laundry wasn't getting done, let alone the cloth diaper laundry.

The good thing became the difficult thing.  No, I don't ditch everything that is difficult, but I do have a few guiding principles that help me make decisions when good things start to cause me grief.

1) What does the Bible say about it?
2) Will it matter in 10 years?
3) Is the situation a forever situation?
4) If not, what will the short term effects be? On me?  On the children?  On my husband?
5) If it is, what will the long term effects be? (same people as before)
6) Is this a pride issue?

Ooooo!  Did you catch that last one???

All too often good things get wrapped up into who we are.  We are defined by the things we are passionate about.  When they go south or become more than we can bear (even if just for a time), we find ourselves scrambling to make sure we're still who we once were.  We are afraid to tell people for fear they will either point fingers or think less of us.  We don't want to admit defeat or failure, even when that's not really what it is.

We are proud of the things that define us.  Losing those things hits us where we live.

I've had some major realizations in the pride department lately.  Things that I felt defined me were falling away at a rapid rate and I found myself distraught.  Recently, I sat crying as I read an email pertaining to one of the things being stripped from me thinking, "Why is this bothering me so much?  It shouldn't matter to me as much as it does."

That's when I realized it was pride that was causing me the most grief. 

So, as for cloth diapering (among other things that have to go by the wayside-either temporarily or permanently) I have to see it for what it is.  It isn't who I am.  I don't suddenly change without it.  I don't have to do XYZ to be me.

And admitting it doesn't make me weak...it makes me real.

Realizing and humbly accepting my limitations Works For Me!  To read more WFMW tips & tidbits, follow the link!

Household Creeps

photo credit

"For of this sort are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts, always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth."
II Timothy 3:6-7

Stay-at-home-moms and especially, homeschool moms are students.  We read and read and read...sometimes to our children, but often to glean information for ourselves.  We pour over how-to homeschooling books, homeschooling mom's devotionals, and homeschooling manifestos.  We are ALWAYS learning, BUT...

DO WE HAVE THE KNOWLEDGE OF TRUTH?

I love to learn, and I hope to instill a love of learning in my children.  But, what sorts of things am I learning?  Am I spending my time learning what truly matters?  I can read what all sorts of people have to say about all sorts of things, but if the Word of the Lord is not hidden in my heart, then I will fall for anything anyone says.  I will try to implement every time schedule, educational plan, or child disciplinary chart out there, but never follow through or be successful with any of it because I don't know the truth.

Now, don't get me wrong...it can be good to read what others have written and spend time discussing other's thoughts on a myriad of things, but if we don't KNOW THE TRUTH, we will not have the discernment to know when something someone writes or says is just their opinion, rather than God's Truth.

So, what can we do to guard against "household creeps"? 

II Timothy 2:22 tells us to
"Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart."

If you do not PURSUE...not just hope you bump into...righteousness, faith, love, and peace, you will never know the TRUTH.

If you are spending your time gossiping, you aren't going to know the TRUTH. 

If your conversations are not flooded with the Word of God, then you will never know the TRUTH. 

Get God's Word in your heart, and GROW UP!  Notice, the previous verse says, "youthful lusts."  Household creeps are rooted in immaturity.  Knowledge of TRUTH will grow you up!

*****

If you are looking for a little homeschooling encouragement today, head over to the Carnival of Homeschooling.  I'm there with my post on the Homeschooling Blues.

Homeschooling - What If I Get Tired of the Kids?

Back to the homeschooling questions!

Here's one I hear A LOT!  Mostly I hear it phrased this way:

"I couldn't homeschool my kids because I couldn't stand to be around them 24/7."

I think the people who say such things to me think I have some sort of innate super-human patience they do not possess; therefore, *I* can homeschool, while they most definitely cannot.

OK, let's dispel that myth once and for all.

Remember, I'm the lady who couldn't wait to send her child off on the big yellow school bus?  I was the lady who begged to have her tubes tied during her 3rd pregnancy.  Patience was not my forte.  In fact, I'm not sure it is even now.

Super-human...Nope.  Supernatural is more like it.

I don't grow tired of my kids because the Lord renews me over and over and over again.

There is such a thing as homeschool burnout, but there are some things you can set in place to help keep you from hitting the wall:

1.  Surround yourself with encouraging homeschool moms.  I'm not necessarily talking about ladies who never have troubles of their own or who spend their lives with a goofy smile on their faces.  I'm talking about real women who offer real answers with real encouragement.

Perhaps they are online (there are a million forums out there...pick one!)  Even better if they are just a phone call away.

Join a homeschool support group just for moms.  Not one where you commiserate over all the bad things, but one where you come home uplifted and edified.  This isn't selfish.  It's a great way to keep from becoming selfish. 

2.  Remember why you homeschool.  Post the goals.  Post the Scripture.  When you are feeling like you've had enough, go back to the roots.

3.  Read encouraging books, magazines, and blogs or watch encouraging videos.  I know you think you don't have time, but sometimes all you need is a quick pep talk.  Some of my favorites are:
Books
When You Rise Up by R.C. Sproul, Jr.
Educating the Wholehearted Child by Sally Clarkson

Magazines
The Old Schoolhouse
Salt Magazine

Blogs 
(Don't want to step on any toes here.  I read so many homeschooling blogs it would take an entire post to list them all!  These are just a few of the many!)

Discover the Child
A House on Fire
A High & Noble Calling
Regan Family Farm
Peace Creek Prairie

Videos
The Children of Caesar ~ Voddie Baucham
(watch an excerpt here on You Tube)

4.  Change things up.  When the children are at each other and you are at them, do something different.  Take a field trip.  Give yourself the day off.  Meet friends at the park and let the kids run.  Homeschooling does not (and should not) look like traditional public school.  You are not bound to the kitchen table with scope and sequence ropes that won't let you do anything out of the norm.  If the kids are driving you crazy, chances are you're driving them crazy too.  Do something different!

5.  You're not perfect...and it's okay.  There will be days when you are supermom.  There will be days when you wish you could just crawl in a hole.  If most days you are somewhere in between the two, you're doing good.  Let go of unrealistic expectations.  Let God be in charge.

and finally...

6.  Kids are kids.  Don't expect perfection from them either.    Love 'em where they live, train 'em in the way they should go, always remember they are a blessing.

Who could grow tired of this? 

How bored I would be without them!

The To-Do List - Beyond the Basics

Part 3
If you've missed the beginning of this series, start with Part 1.
And for those of you who have been reading Raising Arrows for a while, you might remember my post on What Does My Day Look Like.  This post is similar, but only touches on the To-Do List and not the rest of daily life.  Read that post if you'd like to see how the rest of our day goes.

photo credit

It seems to me that for the Scheduled Family the basics are often a no-brainer.  To go beyond the basics, you need only to add a block of time that says something like Morning Chores, and the entire family knows that means Brush Teeth, Get Dressed, Make Bed, etc.  This is the beauty of the Scheduled Family.

However, the Routine Family tends to have a bit more trouble in this area.  I am not sure why that is, it has just been my experience as such.  So, this post is more for the Routine Family.

To establish the basics, see some of the tips in the previous post.  You really do need to practice the basics for quite some time before they will become the basics.  I can remember when I first implemented Table Chores with the children.  I had high hopes that within a week, they would do them automatically.  Boy, was I wrong!  It took a year and a half!  And still, I must occasionally remind them of something they missed!  So, do not become disheartened!  Persevere!!!

Once you have the basics in place--things like a simple morning routine, afternoon routine, and bedtime routine--you can consider adding in routines that repeat weekly.  This is how I get my house cleaning done.

When I had a smaller family, my weekly routine was much less involved.  I cleaned my home thoroughly on Monday, did up all my laundry, and coasted the rest of the week.  I found this stopped working after Baby #3.  But, I do want to include a little more about this method of routine since small families deserve just as much attention as large ones...

For a smaller family, a one-day-a-week cleaning spree is often enough to keep the house in working order the rest of the week.  You simply get it all done and then maintain.  Since the weekend tends to destroy a house no matter what size your family is, Monday is the perfect day to regroup. No matter which day you choose to regroup, I would highly encourage you to never schedule appointments or out-of-the-house activities on that day (yes, I know Routine Families are not known for their ability to commit to something like this, but please consider the "why" behind my reasoning.)

So once upon a time, Monday was the day I would clean the house.  I did this in the morning because I was schooling my oldest child in the afternoon during his sister's nap.  Tuesday and Wednesday, I pretty much coasted.  The house really didn't require much from me those days.  These were the days that work best for making appointments.  Now, by Thursday, I usually needed to readdress the mess.  There were some things that needed attention since I had been away the previous days.  But, quite often, the mess only took an hour or less to completely fix.  It was sort of like a mini-clean, and it was enough to get me through the weekend.  And that was how I did it with 2 children.  (By the way, I was an avid FLYlady fan back in those days as well.)

For the larger family, you will more than likely need to break up your cleaning into bite-size pieces.  My week is loosely based on the Large Family Logistics way of doing things. (The link is to Kim's old site and the posts on cleaning are on the left sidebar.  You'll need to scroll a bit.)

So, here is what we do for our weekly cleaning routine:

Monday = Laundry (try to do all of it and then maintain throughout the week) & Dusting
Tuesday = Floors
Wednesday = Bathrooms
Thursday = Basement
Friday = Van & Outside chores
Saturday = Family Day & Prepare for Sunday
Sunday = Rest and Worship

This has proven to be a very doable weekly routine for us and one that is not too time-intensive.  I still prefer to do all my cleaning in the morning with the children's help, and then start school as soon as we are finished.

I used to use my dry erase board for these chores as seen in Part 2 of these scheduling posts.  The children now have set chores that correspond with each day so I don't have to make out a list every time.  To see our set chores, click the link:

Children's Weekly Chores
(note: these chores may seem like a lot, but it really only takes us about an hour to get them all done.  You'll also note each child is color-coded.  Those are the children's colors in a lot of things...a huge help when there are a lot of littles.)

Your list will obviously be different because your home is different.  And remember, moving beyond the basics takes time and patience.  Finding a workable plan is not an easy task.  You often have to just try it one way and see how it goes, make adjustments, and try it again.  If you see something in your day that is a problem area, figure out a way to solve it.  For instance, is your house always a mess by the time dad comes home even though it is neat and tidy in the morning?  Implement a 4:30 pm mad-dash cleaning session to get the house ready for Daddy (ours is called a 15 Minute Tidy).  In fact, before you start doing a full-blown weekly routine, start out by implementing bits and pieces.  Do your 4:30 Mad Dash every day for a week.  Is it working?  Do you like the results?  If so, keep it and move forward.  Don't try to add every single thing I listed all in one week...you will burn out...especially if some piece of it doesn't quite fit your family.

So, a quick recap...

*Figure out what kind of family you are...Schedule or Routine.

*Find a daily basic plan that works for your family.

*Once you have practiced your plan for a sufficient amount of time, add in a weekly repeating routine one component at a time.

*If you find something that just is not working for your family, revamp it and try again.  Give it time.  Don't become discouraged!  Persevere!!!

The To-Do List Posts:
Part1-Schedule or Routine?
Part 2 - Getting Started
This is Part 3 - Beyond the Basics

{Hey, if you missed it (I almost did!), I was over at The Homeschool Classroom with my post on Why We School Year Round.  And today, I'm At The Well answering a reader's question on a Mom's Relationship with Her Boys.  Go check them out and subscribe to the sites while you're there!}

Homemade Laundry Detergent

 our laundry system

I pretty much love all things homemade!  I love the feeling of industry and resourcefulness that comes from making something myself for cheaper than I could have bought it at the store.

Many years ago, my mom bought me the Reader's Digest Homemade book (mine is the older version of the one in the link).  That's where my homemade hand soap recipe came from.  There is a laundry detergent recipe in there as well, but it tells you to use 1/2 a cup per load which just doesn't seem economical to me.

After searching for a more economical laundry soap, I came across a recipe from TheFamilyHomestead.com. (she has an excellent cost breakdown on there too!) For years this was the recipe I used:
1/3 bar of pure soap
1/2 c. washing soda
1/2 c. borax
(& sometimes I added a few drops of essential oil as well)
1.5 - 2 gallon container with lid (I used a plastic tub)

Grate the soap. (I use my Bosch Slicer/Shredder and do the entire bar or more on a fine shred.)

Put 1/3 of a bar into a saucepan.  Add 6 c. of water and heat on low until soap melts.

 Add washing soda & borax.  Stir until dissolved.  Remove from heat.

Add your essential oil here if you like.

Pour 4 c. hot water into the 2 gallon container, add soap mixture, and stir.  Now add 1 gallon + 6 cups (22 cups) of water and stir.

Let sit for 24 hours to gel.  Can be poured into an old liquid detergent container and used the same way you would your usual liquid detergent.

**However, there are some drawbacks to this recipe**

1. It's not ready right away.
2. It can get messy because it is liquid.
3. I often didn't feel like my clothes were really getting clean. (not that they weren't, but I often felt like the soap had too much water in it.)

So, recently via Twitter, I came across the Dugger family's recipe for powder laundry detergent and decided to give that a go.  So far, I am quite pleased!  Here's that recipe:

1 bar pure soap (Fels-Naptha, castille, etc)
1 c. washing soda
1/2 c. borax
medium-sized container with lid

Grate soap (as shown in previous recipe).

Place soap in container.  Add washing soda & borax.  Mix well.

Use 1 Tbsp per load or 2 Tbsp per load for heavily soiled clothing.

**Things I like about this recipe**

1. No wait time.  I ran out of soap this morning.  I made some up and could use it right away.
2. No mess.
3. Psychologically, *I* feel as though my clothes are really getting clean. ;)

Looking for more laundry detergent recipes?  Head over to MamasLaundryTalk.com (she's hosting a link up on Friday...don't miss it!)

Enjoyed this tutorial?  Perhaps you'd like to make your own Baby Wipes Solution?  Or maybe some Playdough for the kiddos?  Or maybe you just want to know more about Laundry in a larger-than-average family!  Whatever you're looking for, enjoy your visit!

The To-Do List - Getting Started

Part 2
If you missed Part 1, read it here.

OK, we talked about whether you are a Scheduled Family or a Routine Family.  Now, for some ideas to get you started in making that work for you...

 photo credit

One option for Scheduled Families is a simple Daily Planner.  These work great for older children and parents alike, and they are compact enough to go wherever you go.  Simply fill in each time slot with your to-do's for the week (I suggest weekly for the Scheduled Family rather than daily because you naturally prefer your week to have a nice flow or pattern to it).  As you develop a workable schedule, you will need only to transfer the previous week into the new week.  Leave the planner laying open on the table during the day for quick glances at what is next.  Anything out of the ordinary (ie. school projects, urgent repairs, picking up your mother from the airport, etc) can be penciled in without too much disruption to your daily schedule.

 courtesy of my friend Ashley

Another great option for Schedule-lovin' families is something like Managers of Their Homes.  This type of schedule is put together in 30 minute blocks of time.  You have a neatly set time for nearly everything you would like to accomplish throughout your day.  You are able to schedule in everyone else's day as well.  All of this is put into a color coded wall chart with blocks that can easily be changed and moved around.  If you find something that does not work well in the time frame you originally placed it in or something in your life suddenly changes, you simply move it. (The Maxwells have a whole section of their site dedicated to their different schedules.  Take a look at it.)

But, if you are a Routine person, MOTH (Managers of Their Homes) is more than likely NOT for you.  In fact, I would gently suggest that it could quite possibly make you feel very badly about yourself and your ability to run a household properly.  Mrs. Maxwell never intended for this to be the case, so please do not think I am suggesting she believes her schedule is the only way to run a household.  She is merely trying to help other mamas out there manage their day with something that worked well for her household.  But, the fact of the matter is that some of our lives do not fit neatly in 30 minute boxes.  My life being a case in point. 

So, what are some things that a Routine family can try?

 photo credit

A Daily Planner may work for you too (or just a piece of notebook paper for that matter) but with two differences from the one kept by the Scheduled Family.  Yours should not be marked with times.  The other difference is that when you are first getting started your routine should be written out DAILY, not weekly.  You simply take everything that must be accomplished during that day, write it down in a good working order, and cross it off as you go.  (In the next post I'll show you how I set up a routine that stays fairly consistent so you don't have to always be writing a huge daily list).

Another suggestion comes from my friend, Sarah.  You can read about it HERE.  The basic idea is that you write everything down on separate notecards.  When you have accomplished the item listed, you move it from the TO DO section to the DONE section.  This is a great option for the children.  Even those who can't read can have picture cards that tell them what to do next.

I've used this method for myself before by putting two magnetized clips on my refrigerator...one is TO DO and one is DONE.  It feels so good to move the cards from one side to the other.  I used this mainly as a way to remember all those daily things that if allowed to become sidetracked, I will simply forget to do:  taking vitamins, giving the kids their vitamins, switching over laundry, thawing dinner, etc.

Another method that worked well for our family for a long time was using a dry erase board in plain sight.  I wrote my name and my two older children's names with our chores for the day divided up between us.  We erased chores as we went.  Once chores were done, we moved into school work.  It was a quick and satisfying way to get things done.

Ultimately, the name of the game when getting started with finding something that works for you is to brainstorm.  Only you know the real inner workings of your family.  Only you can look at your day and decide what might work and what definitely won't.

There are a million different methods.  You could literally get lost in a sea of schedules.  You also don't have to stick with one set routine or schedule for the rest of your life.  My routines and schedules have changed over the years depending on my current life circumstances.  I would highly suggest you take a look at other people's schedules and routines, but always with the thought in mind that what works for others will have to be tweaked for you and your family. (Take a look at other people's schedules in this post.)

The last post in this series before we move on to homeschool scheduling will be about going beyond the basics and fitting in weekly and monthly chores, so stay tuned!

The To-Do List Posts:
Part1-Schedule or Routine?
This is Part 2 - Getting Started
Part 3 - Beyond the Basics

Large Family Birthdays

I'm going to take a break from the scheduling posts for just a bit, but I promise I will get back to them soon!

We recently celebrated another birthday and it made me stop to ponder how very different birthdays look from when we first started celebrating birthdays around here.

I hesitated to call this post "Large Family Birthdays" because we stopped doing traditional birthday parties long before we had a large family.  However, I have to admit, we adopted a "large family mentality" about the same time and I wonder if that partly helped to make our decision.

So, let me give you a taste of what birthdays USED TO look like:

A room full of people
Tons of children (not my own)
Gifts being discarded within seconds of being opened
Very few decent birthday pictures because of the chaos
Tons of money spent on birthday extras that were really just a way to "keep up with the Joneses"
Exhausted parents & cranky children

Now, I know some of you LOVE the birthday party atmosphere, but for our family, it just wasn't working.  And as our family grew, all we could envision was more and more chaos on more and more days of the year.

So, we ditched it all.

The day of the child's birthday, they are exempt from school and chores.  They choose what we eat and most of the activities we participate in that day.  We open presents as a family and usually eat ice cream cake.

Someday during the birthday week, grandparents come for a visit with more cake and their presents.  There is always a special cake made by Granny to the child's specifications.  (The cake in the picture is my horse-loving daughter's special cake.)  The grandparents get the joy of seeing the children open their gifts without the frenzy of a million children and a million gifts.

Ocassionally, there are special outings with one friend and one friend only.  A few years ago we experimented with having 2 friends and it was not good.  Someone was always left out.

We also do half-sleepovers where the one friend gets to stay at our house until midnight or 12:30.  The kids LOVE this!  We do not do full sleepovers at all.

The celebrations include the entire family which teaches humility and sharing for the birthday child and patience and servanthood for the other children.  Everyone definitely knows who the birthday child is, but the birthday child is encouraged to be considerate of his or her siblings.  Celebrations are calm, but fun.  There are pictures galore and they are really, really good ones.  Presents are kept under control, and I never feel the stress of needing to put on a gala affair.

And that, my friends, Works for Me! (to read all sorts of other tips and trick from other bloggers, click the link!)

The To-Do List - Schedule or Routine?

 One of my many helpers

Part 1

I recently blogged about beating the homeschool schedule blues and I told you we'd be talking about homeschool schedules.  However, homeschool schedules aren't the only schedules we moms have to deal with.  We have a home to run and no amount of positive thinking will make the house keep itself clean.  So, in addition to finding a workable homeschooling schedule, we must also find a workable Homekeeping Schedule.

The first place to begin is with assessing what kind of family you have.  There are basically 2 types when it comes to how things get done in a household:  scheduled and routine. 

Now, before you tell me that you are neither one because you are a free spirit and prefer not to commit to anything even remotely resembling something that might tie you down, let me entreat you to consider the God you serve and His attributes in this respect (remember, we are created in HIS image).  God set forth timing and order to nearly everything.  Our day is 24 hours, with a sunrise and a sunset.  We have a 7 day week, with a day set aside for worship.  The tides, the seasons, the revolutions and rotations of the planets are all in a set order.  Even God's plan for mankind's salvation and reconciliation to Himself was set forth in a certain order.  God is not a God of chaos.  So, Fly By the Seat of your Pants is not an option.

How do you determine if you are a family who prefers schedules or a family who prefers routines?  First of all, there are merits to both.  One is not right and the other wrong.  They both lead to order, just in a slightly different way. 

The Scheduled Family tends to like alarm clocks.  They feel their best when they rise at the same time every day with no variation.  Most of the members of the family work best within time limits.  They are often encouraged by accomplishing tasks on time.  There is very little deviation in life from day to day, and very few outside or spur-of-the-moment trips throughout the week.  Everyone enjoys knowing exactly when and what will happen next.  And Daddy often has a set schedule, so there is no question as to when meal times are and when Daddy's days off are.

The Routine Family rises at approximately the same time every day, but if they have been out later the evening before, they tend to sleep in later.  Things in the home do not necessarily have a designated place.  To this family, time constraints only serve to create foul moods and frustration.  The joy of finishing a task often supersedes the amount of time it took to complete that task.  Daily life includes many spur of the moment happenings:  people dropping by, quick trips to the store, an impromptu outing with Daddy, to name a few.  Daddy's schedule is not set in stone.  He is on call, or works random weekends, or later nights here and there, or possibly, Daddy works from home or has the option to be home at will.  Meal times change from day to day as do Daddy's days off.

So, now that you have a better idea of which type of family you are, you can now move forward with putting a Homekeeping Plan in place.  There is a myriad of options out there for each type of family, so I couldn't possibly touch on each one, but I will try to have several future posts that give you a place to start. 

I'd also like some input from you!  What type of family are you and have you found something that works well for your family dynamic?  Leave it in the comment section so others can benefit from learning about what has worked for you!

The To-Do List Posts:
This is Part 1
Part 2 - Getting Started
Part 3 - Beyond the Basics

Change the World - Raise Arrows

Every now and then you read a book that makes you want to stand up and cheer.  Every now and then you read a book that humbles you and causes you to want to do something bigger than yourself.  Every now and then you read a book that causes you to see potential and purpose in the little things.

Today I introduce you to the book that has done all this and more: One Million Arrows by Julie Ferwerda.

About a month ago I asked if you were raising arrows.  Our family was featured in the short video teaser I showed you in that post due to the fact that we had been chosen to be a part of the One Million Arrows Blog Tour.  At that time, I had not read the entire book, but I liked what I saw on the website, and doesn't it make sense that a blog named Raising Arrows should be part of a book tour for a book about...Raising Arrows?

So, what makes One Million Arrows so inspiring?

The vision.

"No longer can our lives revolve around sports, entertainment, amusement, busyness, or a host of other 'good' or even 'good enough' activities.  They must revolve around best, through getting to know God very personally, glorifying and enjoying Him, and then bringing His Good News to others." (p71)

The book contains inspiring stories of everyday people changing the world, parenting with purpose, all with furthering God's kingdom in mind.

And it's not just about raising your own biological arrows!  It's about reaching the children of this world any way you can, training them in righteousness and the ways of the Lord, then shooting them out into the world to make a difference.  This can be done through everything from adoption to funding orphanages who train with God's purposes in mind!

You really can be a part of something much bigger...don't sell yourself short!

Take a look for yourself:
Read Chapter One of One Million Arrows

Check out the website

or Buy the book!

And then... 

GET BUSY RAISING ARROWS!