What If...I'm Pretending?

(Blog notes: Thank you Jill for the link to this powerful video! )

http://www.whatifimpretending.com

The churches are full of "professing Christians," but WHAT IF? What if some of them, some of you, are pretending?

I would highly encourage you to take the time to listen to this hour long, well-worth-it message. Consider the gravity of this message, have your older children listen to it, pass it on to others. This is so very important!

I was one of those people who "thought" I was saved b/c I prayed a prayer. I was one of those who when I questioned my salvation was told, "If you were sincere when you prayed that prayer, then you were saved all those years ago," even though there was NO fruit in my life. No one said EXAMINE YOURSELF against Scripture, everyone just assumed I was saved because I could talk the talk, and when compared with others in the church, I looked and acted the part. I was even asked to write articles in a Christian publication because I "appeared" to be a good Christian.

But, deep down, I knew I wasn't real. I "thought" I was saved in 1993. It was 7 years later before I truly turned my life over to God and started following Him with my whole heart, not just giving Him occasional lip service.

Even though, I can totally relate to this website and this message, I realize that I have not been giving Biblical answers to others (my children included) when it comes to true, Biblical Christianity. I have been guilty of patting people on the head and saying, well, "*I* think you are saved b/c of X,Y,Z." Who am I? The only measurement of our faith we should have, ladies, is the BIBLE! Every question, every discussion, every argument should ALWAYS point to God's Holy Word.

Examine yourself against Scripture, not against what the person sitting next to you in church is like. Are you truly saved? Does the Lord have your heart? Does the Lord have your children's hearts? Do you point others to the Bible? Is there fruit ~ true Biblical fruit ~ in your life?

Take the time to watch this sermon, ponder the implications of this message, ask yourself and others the hard questions, and stop pretending!

The Morning Sickness Has Arrived

The lapse in my entries is due to that age-old malady called morning sickness, better described as all-day sickness. So forgive me if I do not wax eloquent...I just do not feel very eloquent these days.

My morning sickness is a catch-22. I am glad for it because it means baby is developing nicely (all my miscarriages have been without morning sickness), but it is debilitating. My last two pregnancies, in which I still had nurslings, went much smoother with regards to morning sickness, but because of losing Emily, I am not nursing this time. I do not know if that is why I seem to be suffering more or if somehow her loss has made my sickness more acute or if it is something totally unrelated.

Tomorrow I go for a B vitamin shot. Will it work? Unfortunately, I am not all that hopeful. Sea bands did not stop it, Reglan, Compazine, and Zofran did not stop it, High protein helped, but did not stop it, so while I do have some symptoms of B deficiency (carpal tunnel during pregnancy, going grey early, sluggish metabolism), I have a hard time believing this shot will be my "magic pill."

But, I did not write here to complain! If you will notice, I've put this entry in the "Enjoying Your Pregnancy" section. So, how do you enjoy a pregnancy wrought with morning sickness?

Well, first off all, if you are like me and have suffered a loss, you truly understand how precious life is and how precious the sickness that goes into growing that life can be. But now matter how you determine to view your sickness, there will more than likely come a time when it will have overstayed its welcome. For me, this time comes at about 9-10 weeks gestation (I am 8.5). I find myself wondering how I will continue like this for another 10 weeks (my morning sickness peaks between 12-14 weeks and is finally gone at 20 weeks). So, I am trying to think of creative ways to ENJOY this and not just SURVIVE this.

Here are some of my thoughts (please chime in with yours!):

1. I write in a pregnancy journal. At the bottom of the pages are verses. More often than not, those verses are a huge source of comfort and just what I needed to hear.

2. I have had my older 2 children read from the Word to me. Edifying for all of us!

3. This is yet another chance for me to wholly rely on my Lord.

4. I am resolved to spend time each day recounting my blessings.

So, how about those of you in blog land? Any other ideas on how a person can enjoy their journey through morning sickness, rather than just survive it?

Also, I would encourage you to take a look at this site:
My Morning Sickness.com
Full of good information!

Enjoying YOUR Quiverfull

Quiver & Arrows

Psalm 127:3-5
Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

We are what some people call QUIVERFULL. The term is used to describe any family who leaves their childbearing completely in the Lord's hands. This means no birth control, no sterilization, and no Natural Family Planning; no prevention of any kind.

But, what about PROMOTION? Does God want us to try to conceive? And, let me take it one step further...does He want us to use interventive methods to cause us to conceive?

These are all questions that the Quiverfull-minded family has to consider because there may come a time when the babies don't just "automatically" come every year or so. You may find yourself overwhelmed by the Baby-A-Year Club, only to find yourself frustrated when you don't conceive within your "normal" time frame.

However, this is where the rubber meets the road in the quiverfull walk. If you believe the Lord controls when you conceive, then you HAVE to believe the converse: the Lord controls when you DON'T conceive. In fact, I would suggest that for the quiverfull woman, having a baby every year is not nearly so difficult as going through a period of time when the babies aren't coming at all.

You can read my Quiverfull Journey here (parts 2 & 3 talk about my time when babies weren't coming):
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

Do I believe a woman should NEVER seek methods to promote conceiving? NO. I think the Lord expects us to keep our bodies in working order, but we must be careful that we are not trying to usurp the Lord's authority. What are our motives? Remember, the Lord's plans are not always (dare I say, RARELY) immediately evident to us. So, we really must seek all interventive methods with much prayer and diligent introspection of our hearts.

Another issue that will more than likely rear its ugly head at some point during our childbearing years is something I call The Conception Competition. Even something as pure and good as being quiverfull can turn sour in our sinful human hands. We all know what this Race to Conceive looks like and feels like. We want to "keep up with the Duggers." We don't want another quiverfull family to "beat us" We find ourselves thinking, "Whatever will I do if ______ (name of another quiverfull mama) gets pregnant before I do?" Jealousy is never far from the surface.

It is perfectly natural for a woman to desire children, but when bearing children becomes our sole focus, the essence of truly being quiverfull is lost. The verse reads, "Happy is the man that hath HIS quiver full of them." (emphasis mine) We are not all going to have the same quiver. The Bible clearly warns us against comparing ourselves amongst ourselves (2 Cor 10:12). This only leads to jealousy and sinful behaviors. If we are totally trusting the Lord with our family size, then we MUST be content with our family size at any given point in time.

We cannot spend our time being jealous of others or feeling as though we are less-than-quiverfull because we "only" have X-number of children. We must wholeheartedly enjoy OUR particular quiver. We cannot assume that since we have been having a baby a year that that trend will continue. God does not "guarantee" your fertility.

And having babies IS NOT a status symbol. Children are not "points" you "collect", they are blessings you receive from the Lord. We must appreciate each and every one for the individuality of their particular blessing. Showing off will only taint your quiverfull testimony.

Lastly, let your babies be babies. Enjoy every second you have with each of your little blessings. Should the Lord bless again, wonderful! Should He not, you have not spent so much time focusing on a future baby, that you have neglected the babies you do have.

It all comes down to TRUST. Do you trust the Lord to be the author of YOUR perfect plan? THAT is the essence of being quiverfull. So, please enjoy YOUR quiverfull!

The Lord Has Considered Me...

About a month ago, I sat at my daughter's grave and talked aloud to her and to God. I do not know if our dear ones in Heaven can truly hear us, but it brings me comfort to speak aloud to my baby girl. I told her how much I was hurting, how much I miss her, how much I love her. I also asked her if it were within her abilities, and if it was alright with her, could she ask the Lord to send us another baby. Our arms are so empty.

I went on to ask the Lord to consider me. I told Him that I did not know if He believed us to be truly ready for a new baby, but if it was His will, I would gladly accept a new little blessing.

Shortly thereafter, we learned that the Lord had indeed blessed us again! A new little babe to join us at Christmas time! A child to fill our aching arms.

With this blessing comes many emotions and thoughts...too many to put into words here. I am sure as this pregnancy progresses, I will have many things to share with you.

I continue to grieve the loss of my dear sweet baby girl who would have been 10 months old on the 4th. I find myself continually counting heads and knowing there is someone missing. I want her to be here to share in the joy of this new life, but where she is is exactly where the Lord wants her. So I must rejoice in this new life wholeheartedly. This IS His best for me. Though one is "missing" and will always be "missing", there is a future, there is hope. The Lord continues to show this to me over and over again. Blessed be the name of the Lord!