Homeschooling and the Morning Sickness Factor

As I emerge from the morning sickness and begin to feel well again, I thought I'd share some insights I've gleaned from the 5 times I have done this since I began homeschooling.

*First off, give yourself a break.  Morning sickness is not for the wimpy.  It takes a lot of energy to lay on a couch and try to convince yourself you will survive.  In fact, it takes a lot of energy just to make it to the couch in the first place (unless of course, you spent the night there).  So, give yourself permission to take a break from all things.

*Make meals as simple as possible, enlist someone to help you with laundry and dishes...better yet, use paper plates, cups, etc.  Get your husband to shop for you and keep the refrigerator stocked with easy snacks for you and the children.  Don't be afraid to ask for help.  You can be superwoman some other time.

*As for homeschooling, consider my post at The Homeschool Classroom on Homeschooling Year Round.  You can catch up later.  That is one of the many beauties of homeschooling ~ flexibility.  Is there really a need for you to stress right now about what is not getting done?  Think about the larger picture.  Will it really matter that you did not do 2 months worth of math with your 3rd grader when you can make up those 2 months somewhere else?  Older children can keep up with many of their studies on their own and with very little direction.  The short amount time you are sick (I know it feels like an eternity when you are in the midst of it), will even itself out in the long run.  It will be okay.  I promise.

*Avoid "Bad Mother Syndrome".  I am convinced that my children are the most unruly, my house the most messy, my world the most chaotic, and I am very, very afraid I will never, ever feel "normal" again.  It is during these times that it is most crucial for you to ask for the Lord's guidance.  Sometimes, these feelings are a good "jumping-off" point for us to truly analyze our shortcomings and those we see within our families, but we also must be aware that Satan will use these times when we are already down and out to knock us down further and convince us we are no good at this Christianity thing or this homeschooling thing.  He will put questions into our heads like:

"Wouldn't they all be better off if I just sent them to public school?"  

So, even in the midst of your illness, you must ask the Lord for discernment.  Ask Him to show you TRUTH and give you the ability to PERSEVERE.

*And finally, when you do come up for air and realize the morning sickness is beginning to subside, REJOICE!  Then...

take a moment to look around you and do the next thing.  What one thing that did slip while you were "away" should be re-established right away?  Do you need to take some time to get the discipline of the children back under control?  Is your husband begging  you to clean the house and have all the laundry done up?  Is everyone hungry for some "real food?"

Do not despair...what fell apart while the couch held you hostage will not take all that long to rectify with a little bit of consistancy.

So, as a final note, let me say as someone who has survived morning sickness many times and who has homeschooled through a majority of those times, I empathize completely with your plight.  It is a very difficult place to be.  I hope you find some encouragement from my words.  And a great big cyber-hug from me to you!

When You Just Can't Hack Cloth Diapering

This baby shall remain anonymous because he is embarrassed his mother put him in a disposable diaper.

OK, not really.

He seriously doesn't care.

So, why do I?

I could spout something about how I'm filling landfills and how I'm putting chemicals next to his sensitive skin, but it won't change the fact that right now I cannot hack cloth diapering.

Now, don't get me wrong...I LOVE cloth diapering.  There is something terribly satisfying about putting cloth next to your baby's skin.  And cloth you've made...well, that's even better!  I am looking forward to returning to cloth diapering, but I refuse to be a martyr to something that is simply a preference.

It is a "good thing", but it does not own me.

But, "good things" are like that, aren't they?  They are so good that we would gladly stand on soapboxes for them.  They are so good that we would gladly sacrifice other "lesser" things in order to continue with the good things.  We feel so strongly about them that we have a hard time imagining our life without them.

And then life throws a curve ball...

And the "good thing" starts to have consequences we can't manage.

For me, it was the ick factor (yes, there IS an ick factor with cloth diapering.  You can read how I usually deal with it HERE.) and the fact that even my normal, everyday laundry wasn't getting done, let alone the cloth diaper laundry.

The good thing became the difficult thing.  No, I don't ditch everything that is difficult, but I do have a few guiding principles that help me make decisions when good things start to cause me grief.

1) What does the Bible say about it?
2) Will it matter in 10 years?
3) Is the situation a forever situation?
4) If not, what will the short term effects be? On me?  On the children?  On my husband?
5) If it is, what will the long term effects be? (same people as before)
6) Is this a pride issue?

Ooooo!  Did you catch that last one???

All too often good things get wrapped up into who we are.  We are defined by the things we are passionate about.  When they go south or become more than we can bear (even if just for a time), we find ourselves scrambling to make sure we're still who we once were.  We are afraid to tell people for fear they will either point fingers or think less of us.  We don't want to admit defeat or failure, even when that's not really what it is.

We are proud of the things that define us.  Losing those things hits us where we live.

I've had some major realizations in the pride department lately.  Things that I felt defined me were falling away at a rapid rate and I found myself distraught.  Recently, I sat crying as I read an email pertaining to one of the things being stripped from me thinking, "Why is this bothering me so much?  It shouldn't matter to me as much as it does."

That's when I realized it was pride that was causing me the most grief. 

So, as for cloth diapering (among other things that have to go by the wayside-either temporarily or permanently) I have to see it for what it is.  It isn't who I am.  I don't suddenly change without it.  I don't have to do XYZ to be me.

And admitting it doesn't make me weak...it makes me real.

Realizing and humbly accepting my limitations Works For Me!  To read more WFMW tips & tidbits, follow the link!

To My Dear Readers

Bear with this sorry soul...

I took a tussle with morning sickness and morning sickness won.

I am answering some emails, but I am not visiting blogs or reading much of anything these days. 

I post here, I twitter, I collapse.

So, until the morning sickness is lessened, I beg your humble forgiveness for not being my cheery, blog-hopping, email answering self. 

I know you'll understand...I'm sure many of you have been there yourselves.

Keep reading!  Keep commenting!  Keep chit-chatting (you can even head over to the blogfrog community and start your own conversations!)

The normal me will be back shortly. :)

Can't Keep Your Prenatal Vitamins Down? Drink Them!

Years ago I looked for a way to get my prenatal vitamins in without having to actually take those monstrous yucky pills that inevitably just made me sicker.  I tried taking the kids' vitamins, but that was only slightly better.  My usual method of choice was to just not take them at all.

I know, not a real healthy choice, but when they come right back up, what's the point?

This is where Twitter comes in.

Yeah, you read that right...Twitter.

Somewhere along the line I start seeing tweets from a company called Be Nice, and lo and behold, they sell prenatals you can drink!!!

So, I asked for a free sample and loved it!

It's great!  (I'm especially fond of the lemonade!)  All you do is dump a packet in a big glass of water, stir, and drink (I add ice, because I love ice!)  I plan on trying it in a smoothie too!  Yum!  And all the while, I'm getting vitamins that I simply am not getting any other way.

Now, in order to get a full dose of daily vitamins, you would need to drink 4 glasses, which I'm just not capable of doing; however, I figure, even one packet a day is better than I've been doing.  In fact, one packet a week is better than what I've been doing!

Interestingly enough, Be Nice Prenatal Vitamins started more as a healthy drink for expecting mothers than a way for morning sickness plagued mamas to get their prenatals down.  However, after my experiences with the company, I let them know how impressed I was with the product for that very purpose.  I'm hopeful, they'll market in that direction because I'm thinking I'm not the only one who has looked for years for an easier way to take my prenatals.

And for all my green friends out there...
Be Nice Prenatal Vitamins uses recycled paper to package their product, and the plant the product is manufactured in uses 100% wind generated power!  How awesome is that?!

I've got a button to their site in their sidebar or you can click one of the links within this post to go check out their site.  I'd love to see this company get up and running with its awesome product!

AND GUESS WHAT!!
Just got word from the company that if any of my readers order and mention Raising Arrows, they get a FREE BOX!  Woo Hoo!

Disclosure: I received a case of Be Nice Prenatal Vitamins, but that fact does not influence my wholehearted endorsement of this product.  I've got my integrity to uphold here.  I just want to see a really great product do really well!

Morning Sickness & My To Do List

photo credit

I feel yucky...

oh so yucky...

it's just ducky how yucky I feel!

(kudos to whoever can name the musical spoof!)

OK, seriously.. Morning Sickness.  Need I say more?  It really puts a cramp in my To Do List. 

Nowhere on my To Do List does it say

Hold Down Couch

or

Live In Bathroom

or

Sleep All Day

yet, that is what I find myself doing.  All. Day. Long.

Sure, I have moments of coherency in which I do a mad dash of schooling along with a shot of meal planning and put the rest of my life on autopilot, but that To Do List?  It just sits there.

If you walked in my house today you wouldn't believe my post on what my day looks like because my day just doesn't look like that in the early stages of pregnancy.  I wish I could say my children are in such a good routine that they just automatically keep on with the cleaning schedule, but hey, they're 11 and under and cleaning is not high on their priority list (even though they are the most awesome kids on the planet!)

So, I have a plan.  Wanna hear it?

I have a list on my table that I make each and every day that only has 5 things on it.  That's it.  5 things.  I don't allow any more than that and I don't allow generalities like Clean the Garage because that is just too big of a project to be 1 thing all by itself. 

My list today says,
1. Make bed.
2.  Put away my basket of laundry
3.  Clean around computer area
4.  Scrub cast iron skillets
5.  Clean main bathroom toilet

That's it.  Those are my must-do tasks for the day.  That way when I look back on my day from a horizontal angle, I will not feel like a failure.  Even if the floor is a mess and the dishwasher needs to be loaded, I will have done 5 things and those other things can be added tomorrow.

I might even start making a 5 Things List for my children!

So, how do you deal with To-Do's in the throes of morning sickness?

This post is linked to Works For Me Wednesday.

Sick

The moment vacation was over was the precise moment the first person got sick. Keian to be exact. It was the stomach bug and it ran through the house at a slow and laborious pace. It even managed to skip a few children.

Then, the next round.

This time a fever, aches, and congestion. (yep, sounds like the flu).

I got both.

I'm not a sickly person. Outside of pregnancy, I am rarely sick...even when the rest of the household is. It's probably the whole mama-thing (you know, mama CAN'T be sick...it would disrupt the biorhythms of the household and the entire family would turn to mush.) So, getting both these illnesses has been a little disconcerting to say the least.

What's a mama to do when she's the sick one? Thankfully, I got sick over a weekend and under my mama's roof where both my husband and my mother could watch children and nurse me back to health, but when I'm here by myself and sick, it feels as if there is no choice but to keep on keepin' on.

Years ago, I met a woman who was the oldest of 12. She told me of a time when her mother was continuously sick and spent most of her days on the couch. She had to hold down the fort so to speak, yet this woman held no ill feelings toward her mother about her mother's lack of parenting during those years. At the time she was telling me this story, I was desperately ill with morning sickness and doing most of my parenting from the couch. Guilt was overtaking me and I begged her to tell me how she managed to come out of it unscathed.

The only thing she could think of was GRATITUDE.

She said her mother gushed gratitude at every single thing the children did for her and for the household. The children always felt as if mom needed them and that she appreciated everything they did.

Since that discussion, I have tried to put to practice this young woman's words. Yes, I've had to rely on older children (who aren't all that old) to make meals and clean up and care for younger siblings, but I have done it with GRATITUDE.

There are many everyday things the children are expected to do to make this household run, but when mama can't pitch in at all, it can easily feel overwhelming. I try to keep life to a minimum (paper plates and movies for the littles are just a few of the concessions I make) and I try to take what opportunities I have as I hold down the couch to be mama.

And I gush GRATITUDE.

So, Mom, Ty, Kids who aren't sick...THANK YOU! You are loved and appreciated!

Mind Over Belly

Get a group of ladies together and you are sure to eventually hear talk of having babies. And as sure as you will hear talk of having babies, you will hear talk of what pregnancy was like for each woman. Many of these stories sound like something out of a war memoir. In fact, if you stay long enough, they will begin to try to outdo one another.

"My back hurt so bad, I had to sleep with 5 pillows!"

"Well, my back hurt so bad, I had to sleep in the recliner!"

"Well, my back hurt so bad, I didn't sleep at all!"

or

"My morning sickness was so bad, I lost 10 pounds!"

"Well, my morning sickness was so bad, I took anti-nausea meds!"

"Well, my morning sickness was so bad, I lost 20 pounds because I couldn't keep the anti-nausea meds down!"

It's not that we mean to get into this little competition of sorts, it's just that we are certain no one had it as rough as we did and somehow we must prove it...even if we have to embellish just a wee bit. And honestly, there are some of us, who don't need to embellish a single bit to have quite the war, I mean pregnancy, story to tell.

But, is all this dreary exchange of the worst "this" and the worst "that" really a constructive use of our time? Does it help us in any way? Not really. In fact, I would submit that it actually makes things MUCH worse.

Case in point...

With my first baby, I spent the last 2 months wishing it was over. Let me tell you that was a LONG 2 months!

With my second child, I had horrid, awful morning sickness. I was terribly depressed because of it, an emotional train-wreck. In fact, I nearly went through with having my tubes tied so I would never, ever have to do that again.

Then, a 3 year gap in babies. During that unexpected time, I learned much. One thing I learned was from a friend who was carrying her first child. She NEVER complained. Even when she went long overdue, she NEVER complained. Some of the women who knew her would whisper about how she was too good to be true and they didn't know how she could possibly be content and be that overdue. Her answer to their incredulous looks of pity sounded something like this, "I don't mind. Baby will come when it is time." However, as her friend, I knew she hurt. Her hips were creaking, her back was always out of place, and she had endured the same horrid morning sickness that I had. However, she was bound and determined to enjoy every second of growing this new little life.

What I gleaned from her contentment was a new outlook on handling my own pregnancies. And when I became pregnant just a few months after she gave birth to her son, I CHOSE to adopt a positive outlook despite the difficulties that lie ahead.

In fact, looking back, I KNOW my pregnancy with our third child was by far, the most difficult. The morning sickness kept me on the couch until 20 weeks, the anti-nausea meds did nothing to help. I had horrible Restless Legs Syndrome to the point I would stay up until the wee hours of the morning bouncing on my birthing ball until with legs so exhausted and weak, I would literally fall into bed. I had hemorrhoids that required pain meds, and a host of other "issues" that need not be mentioned here lest they embarass the writer beyond recovery. Had I not worked very hard to stay positive and happy, I could have tumbled into the miry-clay of self-pity and really, no one would have faulted me one little bit.

But, instead, I made the best of everything. I even performed in a Broadway Revue where I sang "Broadway Baby" in all my 8 1/2 months of glory. I kept a smile on my face and happy words on my lips. If nothing else, I was convincing myself that this was a good pregnancy...an easy pregnancy. By golly, I could do this again!

And that, my dear readers, is the true moral of this story. What good does it do us to wallow in our aches and pains? Does it truly help to recount every awful moment of our pregnancy to anyone who stands near us more than 2 seconds? What do our other children learn from our belly-achin'? Mama hates having babies? Babies are horrible little parasites? Pregnancy is nothing but pain that ends in pain so we can bring the little pain home to live?

Not that I think it is wrong to share and empathize and occasionally vent, but to spend our entire pregnancies lamenting every single aspect of growing a baby doesn't show a whole lot of gratitude to the Giver of Life. These little blessings aren't just blessings once they get here, they are blessings from the very beginning. That is why I chose to have a section specifically about Enjoying Your Pregnancy. So many people don't. From the positive test to the first push, they are just itchin' to get it all over with.

But, what would happen if you actually tried to enjoy your pregnancy? What would happen if you put a smile on your face and looked for the good instead of dwelling on the bad? What would happen if when someone suggested you must be miserable you said in return, "Oh no! I LOVE being pregnant!" No, there wouldn't be a long exchange of war stories. No, you couldn't let them know just how horrible you actually feel. But, imagine your testimony. You feel BLESSED to be carrying a child, not BURDENED! When the whole nation sees children as a pain to be endured, you see them as a privilege to be held...inside as well as outside.

Drink those moments in, ladies! Consider all the beauty of pregnancy. Stop dwelling on every single ache and pain. Treasure those kicks. Enjoy the fringe benefits of being pregnant...the naps no one questions, the best seat in the house, the ready-made tray table, also known as your belly! It truly can be a beautiful time in your life, but you have to resolve to practice a little mind over matter...or in this case, mind over belly!

Enjoy!

The Morning Sickness Has Arrived

The lapse in my entries is due to that age-old malady called morning sickness, better described as all-day sickness. So forgive me if I do not wax eloquent...I just do not feel very eloquent these days.

My morning sickness is a catch-22. I am glad for it because it means baby is developing nicely (all my miscarriages have been without morning sickness), but it is debilitating. My last two pregnancies, in which I still had nurslings, went much smoother with regards to morning sickness, but because of losing Emily, I am not nursing this time. I do not know if that is why I seem to be suffering more or if somehow her loss has made my sickness more acute or if it is something totally unrelated.

Tomorrow I go for a B vitamin shot. Will it work? Unfortunately, I am not all that hopeful. Sea bands did not stop it, Reglan, Compazine, and Zofran did not stop it, High protein helped, but did not stop it, so while I do have some symptoms of B deficiency (carpal tunnel during pregnancy, going grey early, sluggish metabolism), I have a hard time believing this shot will be my "magic pill."

But, I did not write here to complain! If you will notice, I've put this entry in the "Enjoying Your Pregnancy" section. So, how do you enjoy a pregnancy wrought with morning sickness?

Well, first off all, if you are like me and have suffered a loss, you truly understand how precious life is and how precious the sickness that goes into growing that life can be. But now matter how you determine to view your sickness, there will more than likely come a time when it will have overstayed its welcome. For me, this time comes at about 9-10 weeks gestation (I am 8.5). I find myself wondering how I will continue like this for another 10 weeks (my morning sickness peaks between 12-14 weeks and is finally gone at 20 weeks). So, I am trying to think of creative ways to ENJOY this and not just SURVIVE this.

Here are some of my thoughts (please chime in with yours!):

1. I write in a pregnancy journal. At the bottom of the pages are verses. More often than not, those verses are a huge source of comfort and just what I needed to hear.

2. I have had my older 2 children read from the Word to me. Edifying for all of us!

3. This is yet another chance for me to wholly rely on my Lord.

4. I am resolved to spend time each day recounting my blessings.

So, how about those of you in blog land? Any other ideas on how a person can enjoy their journey through morning sickness, rather than just survive it?

Also, I would encourage you to take a look at this site:
My Morning Sickness.com
Full of good information!